[Odessa]

Well as mentioned in the other topic, I'm heading off towards surgery. I tried e-mailing people in private, so if you didn't get an e-mail (i'm looking at you, issi) then I don't have a private e-mail for you people. You can fix that of course... I can be PM'd here with an address or e-mail me directly at bookwormbabe29@yahoo.com.

Either way, tomorrow is big surgery number one, playing mr. potato head with my face, and perfection with my brain. Joy. Again, I should be fine, but in case i'm not... I just want to say adios, partners. Regardless of what happens, it's been a fun ride. Thanks for the laughs, and for putting up with my long winded rants of doom.

With any luck, I'll see you all in hell - literally or not - soon enough ;)

Vicky

[Dreamer]

We will miss you vicky so much.

[abyssion1337]

stop thinking about dying so much in surgery, I know you're not comfortable with your own mortality so you need to put it out of mind

[acutekat]

well then you should probably stop thinking about breathing

[Jazean]

I know I don't post often now-a-days, but

SEE YOU SOON VICKY!

whether its back here or at the end of the tunnel with the light at the end of it, although that light is provided by flames, lots of flames...

make sure to think of us before you go under, remember happy thoughts can make the bad things go away and if that doesn't work i'm sure our personalities will be enough of a deterent.

[abyssion1337]

rishwa you're a terrible person and I hope you get banned

[Divine Dragoon]

stop thinking about dying so much in surgery, I know you're not comfortable with your own mortality so you need to put it out of mind

That's how EMO's say I love you!!!:)


hehehe BTW Good Luck Vicky!!!

[abyssion1337]

that's so cruel, but you'd hope but by now she's probably sitting comfortably in post-op

[alucard151]

Look at the bright side, if you don't come back as a person, you can always just haunt us all as a being of the paranormal, or of the night.. your choice

[Tazuto]

Im sure youll be fine! =D and i cant wait to see you again later ^^

[Odessa]

Hey all. I still live, though at this phase, I'm at the 'let me die phase.' I knew the pain would be bad, but this is just cruel. I'm covered in more bandages than a mummy costume, and even the slightest jolt, the tineist of sounds, is enough to knock me to the ground in pain. To say i'm not in my happy place right now is an undersatatement. Still, the worst of the pain (or at least, i hope the worst) is over' i stopped taking the percocet yesterday, and my body has got that out of my system at last. I actually SLEPT last night, for more than an hour~!

minor victories, right?

I'll update as i can, though don't expect too much at the moment.

[daikaisho vanguard]

Good to hear. Now just consentrate on regaining strength. I think we can bear waiting to hear from you, if it means faster recovery.

[Mawelli]

Great news! Didn't we tell you that you'll be just fine...

[Divine Dragoon]

As Abyss is grumbling in a corner. hehehe (I just like to tease you. don't mean nothing by it) (^_^) and Odessa don't skip on the morphine it's the good stuff!! (^_^)

[abyssion1337]

I'll kill you, but seriously; how many times did I say you'd be fine and not to worry about a think, cause every little thing's gonna be alright: but truly seriously this time, I must've said a million times not to think about that that stuff cause you'll be fine

[Divine Dragoon]

I'll kill you, but seriously; how many times did I say you'd be fine and not to worry about a think, cause every little thing's gonna be alright: but truly seriously this time, I must've said a million times not to think about that that stuff cause you'll be fine

You did say so and it always turns out fine like you say i have no argument or whatever there I just like givn you a bad time cause you take it as if i mean what i say. I just find it funny (^_^)

[Mawelli]

You did say so and it always turns out fine like you say i have no argument or whatever there I just like givn you a bad time cause you take it as if i mean what i say. I just find it funny (^_^)

Both of you keep on trolling each other..,endless loop is endless...

[abyssion1337]

I wouldn't go so far as to call it trolling, he's not nearly that annoying nor does he have the capacity for it

[Mawelli]

Oh well, as long as I keep on getting lulz out of this its all cool...which I will get btw ^^

[Odessa]

eh, abyss has his/her opinions, and i have mine, and you have yours, etc. there's no right/wrong to it.

and i said i lived, not that everything was fine. the level of pain proves to me that God is a sadistic bastard, as designing us being capable of this kind of pain is the worst crime against humanity anyone has ever committed. i had two negative/allerigci reactions to pain medications (oxycodine and and another oxy something) which leaves me with only extra strength tylonol for the pain. it maybe good for headaches, but it is NOT ideal for recovering surgery patients.

i had morphine for the first two days in the hospitol, but they won't let me keep any at home. bastards V_V

[abyssion1337]

let's not bring god into this as pain makes us enduring, it's one of the reason's we've lasted so long

[Odessa]

I forget if I mentioned it on here or not, but I'v taken up my old devil worshipping ways again, so I am all about the god bashing these days. i've got a loooooong list of complaints, and let him/her/it/hu know them when i get the chance.

In summary: God's a jerk, Hail Satan!

[Issitheus]

i had two negative/allerigci reactions to pain medications (oxycodine and and another oxy something)
oxygen? oxyclean?

[daikaisho vanguard]

I wonder if "pain medication" can be called an oxymoron.

[Kyle X]

Oxycotin?

[abyssion1337]

Vicky we've been over this a few times and you're not a true satanist, you praise Satan for reasons that would annoy the real satanists, it's a far better course of action to disbelieve god or choose/create a deity more to your liking

[Issitheus]

create a deity more to your liking
****ing do it!!!

[NodMan]

Surgeries are fun? I've got my 5th in under a 2 years for my hips in August. Wee....

[Odessa]

surgeries suck. i went into a LOT of pain, being unable to stop myself from shaking or sweating, and was rushed to the hospitol. it took them three hours to come to the conclusion thet "hey, you're in pain!"

they then told me to go home, mocking me, and to suck it up.

i've never been more humiliated as far as i can recall. i'm so ****ing angry i can't even begin to describe it here. what's the point of it all? i'm going through this misery in order to live, and right now i don't even want to exist.

and abyss, most days i would put up with your pretentious bull****, but do not mess with me now. i've been going to Satanist meetings since before you discovered puberty. you are in NO position to tell me what my religious beliefs are.

[Issitheus]

surgeries suck. i went into a LOT of pain, being unable to stop myself from shaking or sweating, and was rushed to the hospitol. it took them three hours to come to the conclusion thet "hey, you're in pain!"

they then told me to go home, mocking me, and to suck it up.

i've never been more humiliated as far as i can recall. i'm so ****ing angry i can't even begin to describe it here. what's the point of it all? i'm going through this misery in order to live, and right now i don't even want to exist.

and abyss, most days i would put up with your pretentious bull****, but do not mess with me now. i've been going to Satanist meetings since before you discovered puberty. you are in NO position to tell me what my religious beliefs are.
awwww, there, there, odessa. *hugs odessa* we all love you, so that's a plus... i think...

and don't listen to what abys says, his main purpose here is to antagonize you whenever possible. don't deny it, it's true.

[abyssion1337]

ya know what you've already told me enough and it's not pretentious bull****, maybe if you worked on your memory problems you'd know that you told me enough to realize that it's not true satanism that you support, I know that might be harsh to hear but I'm also not in a position where I'm going to let anyone **** with me right now.

and iss, mind your own business, you couldn't begin to understand things between me and Vicky, we still care about each other and you're just on the outside looking in through a dark window

[NodMan]

Long tale, you don't have to read. Just felt like typing it out while downloading "Fun Stuff".

When I was a kid about 10 (31 now) I had a rare form of Salmonella in my left hip. My body had made a sack around it to keep it there but I ruptured the sack walking around one day while camping. Within 6 hours of that happening lets say it started devouring my hip. Few days of agonizing pain later they finally went "This isn't inflammation" and was admitted to the hospital. Week or so later without being given anything for my pain they finally found the pocket of Salmonella in my hip on a dark spot on a XRay. So they grabbed an aspiration needle and again without anything for my pain they trusted this down the hip joint and grabbed about 10ccs of basically nothing but straight Salmonella. A week to culture what type that was. Then antibiotics and after being on those for a few days they figured I had way too much of the bacteria in my left hip and recent XRays showed massive bone pitting and deformation because it was basically eating my hip. They cut me open and put in simple terms a drain. Weeks later and many ounces of bacterial fluid I was finally let out of the hospital (whole time I was there I was maybe given 2 aspirin for pain...) to go home. About a year later I was able to walk again. Ever since I started walking again I've had chronic hip pain. Every doctor from here till I finally found this Orthopedic surgeon told me I had arthritis. He had me under go a Contrast MRI were they pumped Galalinium straight into my hip (hurrah nothing for pain then either). After that surgeon looked at the MRI and said "You don't have arthritis, you have a few bone spurs." He operated, removed the ones he thought that were causing me the most pain. 3 more surgeries to check the cartridge, and the joint's physical appearance, and to remove the screws they added (long story short there the first surgery they needed them because of how they operated). Now after a recent XRay they've found that the largest one (about 1.5" long and 3/4" thick) has grown back to about 50% of it's original size. So now I need a 5th surgery to remove this one and their going to radiate my hip so hopefully it doesn't grow back again. He's also going to remove one he didn't want to last major surgery because he has to dislocate my hip for it. So yah 21 years of everyday every moment agonizing hip pain and only about 3 years ago was I given anything for it (24mg Hydromorphones). Other medical things happened between then and now but that would make this longer.

Long tale, you don't have to read. Just felt like typing it out while downloading "Fun Stuff".

[Odessa]

abyss. don't be so full of yourself. i cared for you the old you, but now? this new you makes me sick. I don't know what your problem is anymore, but you can rest assured i do not carry a torch for you anymore. if it was your goal to drive me away, you did a splendid job of it.

I don't know who you are anymore. All I know is who you are not, and you are not the same man i fell in love with, the man I wanted to marry. you're a stranger to me, an internet troll I could do wirhout. I don't know you, so don't pretend you know me. because guess what? there are more than one school of satanism, and I joined with a new sect this year, post YOU. you going to tell me you know which books I picked up? you going to pretend you know what aspects I accept now? I was staring down a nearly fatal surgery and I looked very closely at religion before I died, and I chose a new path. Don't get off telling me you 'know' where you insulted my opinions more than anyother person. You dismissed me, and I dismissed you: i sent a farewell note to all my friends just in case I died.

I didn't send you one.

you figure it out, smart ass.

[abyssion1337]

that's a bit harsh, I know very well I've changed quite a bit and I know very well I've become a monster but being disattached from my emotions doesn't mean I don't have them: I've come to realize my mistakes and no I don't know how I ended up coming down this road but I'm aware that I could have turned back but I was so damn stubborn that I thought it was something I had to go through alone. I know I should apologize to you but I can't just yet, I'm not done going through this and I'm just so curious as to where I'm going to end up. I've learned to not regret anything but I know I have to mend up my past eventually just know that you can't say anything to hurt me but I've been so egotistical and narcissistic that I forgot how fragile you were. So there you have it: you've managed to peel away my armor and get me to be honest, I hope you're happy(I know you're gloating about it right now) and that's about all I can say

most of all I don't want you to take this the wrong way, it's merely a statement; though I'm sure you're thinking this is my own sad attempt at an apology or a cry for help but it's not; I'm just saying I know the score

[Issitheus]

that's a bit harsh, I know very well I've changed quite a bit and I know very well I've become a monster but being disattached from my emotions doesn't mean I don't have them: I've come to realize my mistakes and no I don't know how I ended up coming down this road but I'm aware that I could have turned back but I was so damn stubborn that I thought it was something I had to go through alone. I know I should apologize to you but I can't just yet, I'm not done going through this and I'm just so curious as to where I'm going to end up. I've learned to not regret anything but I know I have to mend up my past eventually just know that you can't say anything to hurt me but I've been so egotistical and narcissistic that I forgot how fragile you were. So there you have it: you've managed to peel away my armor and get me to be honest, I hope you're happy(I know you're gloating about it right now) and that's about all I can say

most of all I don't want you to take this the wrong way, it's merely a statement; though I'm sure you're thinking this is my own sad attempt at an apology or a cry for help but it's not; I'm just saying I know the score

Doesn't change the fact that you've gone from being fun to being a total ass. Bring back the old abys. We liked him more.

[Odessa]

abyss, you assume too much. again.

if you had opened up to me back in november, or even december, when I was begging for you to trust me, to let me in, to let me help you... then maybe i would have felt something then. relief? joy? love? I don't know. now, I don't care. i threw myself at your feet, begged for you to trust me, and you rejected me like i meant nothing to you. like you couldn't be bothered to love me. like most girls, i've dreamed and planned out my wedding a 100 different ways, just waiting for my special someone. and though i've fallen in love before (three times, for the record) i thought it was you who was going to make the dream a reality. for the first time, i wasn't trying to force someone into an image of what i wanted them to be; we fit together without any of that. i thought it was meant to be. i told you this. do you recall that "opening up" session? i poured my heart and soul out to you, and you made me feel like i was worth nothing to you. nothing.

you can justify it to yourself how ever you want, but you broke my heart. and when i tried to remain friends with you, to help you out as I still cared for your well being, you responded with being the biggest of jerks i've ever seen online. unless what you were going through involved being possesed by aliens or having a gun to your head, it doesn't cut it. it's far too little, far too late.


either way... i get my stiches out tomorrow.

and nodman, i don't want to know how much that must have hurt. that sounds crazy.

[Divine Dragoon]

who wants cookies? (^_^)

[abyssion1337]

sorry I wasn't trying to justify anything, you are the one who assumes too much, in fact you didn't really say anything I haven't already, really you did just what I said you were going to and completely take what I was saying the wrong way, that's been a huge problem for you.

[acutekat]

drum roll please i have swine flu at the camp im working at

[abyssion1337]

wow, I hear swine flu sucks, hope you get over it

[Kuwabara]

who wants cookies? (^_^)

i do, i do!!!!

[Ken-Chan]

wow ****s still hitting the fan with these two well actually i'm not surprised just sad that it didnt resolve itself

now where are those cookies

[Tazuto]

wow, I hear swine flu sucks, hope you get over it

Doesnt it kill people in 3 days? O-o.....drink more orange juice!!!!
and see a doctor immeidiatly!!
and abyss i know you have an entire dictionary of words in your arsenal but i simply think you could be nicer to vicky no questions asked

[Ken-Chan]

Doesnt it kill people in 3 days? O-o.....drink more orange juice!!!!
and see a doctor immeidiatly!!
and abyss i know you have an entire dictionary of words in your arsenal but i simply think you could be nicer to vicky no questions asked

that only happens in severe cases

each time it passes from one host to another it gets weaker and weaker

here in Australia we have had about 3000 confirmed cases and only one guy has died it happened a few days ago actually but we have been told that the amount of infected people will sky rocket and the state i live in is like a hot spot for swine flu atm

[abyssion1337]

you know, being nicer to Vicky would be easier if she'd stop taking everything I say as a personal attack, it's really not and then she get's all belligerent but really the worst part is she argues like my grandfather and I hate him, the way he argues being one of the reasons: I mean I just admitted to being a horrible person and she took it the wrong way; this'll only work if she actually manages to let go

and no, I'm not actually trying to be mean to her but the smallest comment sets her off

[Tazuto]

Women are strange beings =o
were not meant to understand them just agree with them rofl

[Ken-Chan]

you know, being nicer to Vicky would be easier if she'd stop taking everything I say as a personal attack

but she has always done that and i dont think that will change so there has to be a way to work around it maybe you could be more direct in what you say and leave no area up for interpretation

[abyssion1337]

I could, but my distinct way of speaking is part of my identity, it's not easy to give up

[Ken-Chan]

i thought as much but then what else can you do you two cant have a decent conversation without something happening

[abyssion1337]

isn't that the million dollar question?

[Ken-Chan]

ahhh i hate that phrase annoys the hell out of me

but anyway what if u two just stopped talking to each other like no emails, calls, visiting, txts or blogs to each other just pretend the other does not exists just ignore them

[Odessa]

i see everything as an attack? that's news to me. you address me, and i'm going to answer. if you're rude, well, it doesn't put me in the best of moods. and despite your claims, i can't recall a time when you haven't put on this false bravado for the site. you're usually fine the handful of times i manage to talk to you off site. honestly, i tend to think the abyss of AMV hell is a front to hide yourself. i've often wondered if my joining here was one of the deathblows to our relationship, as you began to put up this mask when with me as well. maybe i'm right, maybe not. i don't know, but it seems that way.

[Ken-Chan]

no hello....:(


i feel so unloved

hey is there anyway to change my onscreen name back to ken-chan i'm sick of the code

[acutekat]

the issue will go on there will be brief times of peace but soon erupting into war once again

its gets annoying

i've blown up before over this issue and ill probably do it again if this continues

[abyssion1337]

ok one, false bravado is redundant and that's one of me pet peeves, anyway... ok that's about all I got, there's really no point in taking about my fractured mental state: if I wear a mask I have my reasons: though I don't think it was the death blow or even much of a problem

and if you want ken-chan back you'd need to pm zarx

[Divine Dragoon]

You know the two of you could just dumb down what you all say easy as that personal comment's leave them out unless there real or just funny? Just an idea (^_^)

[abyssion1337]

that still changes my manner of speech

[Ken-Chan]

well if u cant compromise then what u going to do

[abyssion1337]

well, you guys could come up with better ideas, I'm sure we can come up with something that doesn't rely on my changing the way I express myself; come on guys I know you can do better than this

[Ken-Chan]

i liked my ignore each other idea

[abyssion1337]

I'm going to comment on what people say, I'm not vindictive though so I can ignore the malevolent intent behind things she says to me but I don't think she'll be able to do it

[Ken-Chan]

couldnt u just add each other to ur ignore list then u wont even see the posts

[abyssion1337]

is that a new feature, I didn't think it worked on the forums just messaging, anyway we could but you have to keep in mind I harbor no ill feelings toward her so I have no motivation to do so, I suppose she could; she could go either way on this one

[Ken-Chan]

well im done now i sit back and watch

[abyssion1337]

well what really needs to happen is we think out of the box here, I suppose Vicky and I likely need to talk

[Ken-Chan]

no letting random people give u advice is a much better idea

[abyssion1337]

well that's the worst advice ever plain and simple

[Ken-Chan]

sarcasm is so weird on a forum it doesnt have the necessary emotion anyway i'm off for now L8R

[abyssion1337]

ok bye, but yeah that's a problem the way I speak really does need me to be able to convey emotion through tone

[Divine Dragoon]

Do it for the lolZ (^_^)

[Ken-Chan]

good input DD i dont know where this forum would be without your witty conversations

[abyssion1337]

yeah lolz cause that won't end badly

[Ken-Chan]

YES i got my old name back HAPPY DAYS

[abyssion1337]

I like Happy days, I once cosplayed as the Fonz, everyone thought it was hilarious

[Ken-Chan]

that wold have been funny i love the Fonz

i just re-watched the melenchily of haruhi suzumiya in one sitting and it's still funny

[Divine Dragoon]

You bet your ass it is!!! (^_^)

[abyssion1337]

it damn well better be

[Ken-Chan]

i feel like i have been attacked after making a positive comment, i'm scared