[Kira2521]

Than you for calling, please leave your penis size after the beep

[Haar]

Hello. I'm actually home. I'm in a different room right now ignoring you. Prove you're worthy of my time by leaving what you think is a clever message.

[Neomalysys]

City morgue you bag em we tag em.

[Arock]

suicide hotline please hold

[MADEVIL]

Road kill cafe, you kill it we grill it

[xantonoch]

This is the devil, who in what hell do you want?

[jinzo64]

suicide hot line if in doubt just do it.

[ComradeChamberlain]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ria37d9mInY I dont know about worst answering machine message but this thread reminded me of this.

[NodMan]

Welcome to the Black chapter of the KKK, all our members are "hanging around" please leave a message.

[jinzo64]

hello police we're out getting doughnuts please a message after the nom

[Guthix]

this sorta reminds me of 4 words during sex

[jinzo64]

beep ghostbusters if you got a problem that ain't paranormal calling someone else

[Shuiia]

Malkavian enterprises we stalk you at nightime in L.A. when you aren't looking

[jinzo64]

capsule corp hotline we got awsome balls

[abyssion1337]

Murphy's Funeral Home; we put the 'FUN' back into 'funeral'

[Barty64]

Hang up and don't call again, if you don't want me to shooting.

[Neomalysys]

Jo's taking it in the ass right now please leave a message.

[jinzo64]

vagina hotline no vagina no surface

[Shuiia]

You've reached the answering service of the Beverly Hills Cosmetic surgery HQ, the cutting edge in Breast augmentation

[Neomalysys]

You've reached hell how may we torture you.

[Shuiia]

You've reached the answering machine of Billy Herrington I'm out ****ing dudes so leave me a message and I'll rip your pants of ass soon ass I have the time.
Remember.
Ass We Can

[Kaiju]

Hello my name is Inigo Montoya. You Killed my Father. Prepare to die.

[jinzo64]

coast guard if your stranded at sea press 1 if your drowning press 2 if your dead press 3.

[Pain]

Hello its Detlev ....

[Neomalysys]

Hi it's Hitler I'm out committing genocide please call back later.

[Zuiichi]

HI, i'm probably home right now smacking my tallywacker in the back room, if this is mom I told you to call my cell, if this is the electrician just let yourself in.

[Neomalysys]

Bangin your wifu call back later.

[Zuiichi]

yo, leave a message at the beep i'm busy tryin to figure out how to dispose of 7 dead hookers

[Barty64]

If you would like to speak to me, then you can find me with your girlfriend.

[NodMan]

Thank you for calling Microsoft Technical support. Your time is valuable and you will be connected to the next available representative. Your estimated wait time is between 90 and 1,000 minutes. Thank you.

[Neomalysys]

Its a trap!

[SplitReality]

"Oh yea, that's it you dirty whore, leave that ****ing message after that sexy ass beep. Work them lips!"

[Lionforce1337]

Giddyup...

[Neomalysys]

Bring it oooonnnnn!!!!!!

[jinzo64]

wot wot wot did you say

[Neomalysys]

Talking on the telephone.

[QUADChromatic]

Sorry I couldn't come to the phone right now please leave a message after the beep .................................................. .................................................. .......
.................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ....................
..............*BEEP*

[Karbunos]

Hai, PlZ Lev ah post ava da Beep. KTHXBAI! :D

[Doklahar]

BeeEEeep! We're sorry, but your call couldn't be connected as dialed. Please check the number and dial again after the beep.

Following that is the annoying disconnected call series of beeping sounds. I have that last for about 15seconds before it kicks over and lets them record their message. My boss still hates me for this.

[Neomalysys]

I was going to answer the phone, but I took an arrow to the knee.

[NodMan]

Ring! Ring! Ring! Banana Phone!

[Neomalysys]

I keeeel you!