[Issitheus]

I just Stumbled on this and thought I would share it with the class.

1.

War sucks.
2.

You CAN have too many women.
3.

Smart people wear glasses.
4.

Music foreshadows plot.
5.

The less you care about sex, the more opportunities you'll get.
6.

(Inversely, the harder you try, the less you'll get.)
7.

When you die, make a long speech, and don't finish the last sentence.
8.

Snow means love.
9.

The best teams come in fives.
10.

In space, you can hear everything.
11.

There's always room for flashbacks!
12.

When in China, listen to your tour guide.
13.

The good guy always has the BLUE glow.
14.

Speak quietly, pilot a big mech.
15.

Believe in goddesses.
16.

Teachers have excellent aim with small objects.
17.

Vengeance with a mallet is the sweetest revenge of all.
18.

Honor is sexy; villainy is irresistible.
19.

Women are attracted to losers; men are attracted to ANYTHING.
20.

The coolest weapon is still the sword.
21.

The hero is never really mad until they hurt his girlfriend.
22.

Female androids are sexy; male androids are....male androids.
23.

The green-haired alien girl will always betray her people for the man she loves.
24.

School uniforms are cool only when the collar is open.
25.

A show without sexual tension isn't worth watching.
26.

Love knows no race, species, or logic.
27.

If it's homemade but tastes bad, grin and bury it (discreetly).
28.

Never trust a huge corporation.
29.

Romance never comes simpler than in a triangle.
30.

Never fall for the girl who names her mech with a French name.
31.

Never fall in love with a psychic.
32.

You can never have too much hair.
33.

Sweating is a sure sign of stress.
34.

Daydreaming leads to accidents.
35.

Everyone wants to conquer Japan.
36.

The cute, fuzzy creature isn't what it seems.
37.

Cherry blossoms mean nostalgia.
38.

Always take gravity into account.
39.

Settings and faces are self-generating.
40.

Losing your temper can be therapeutic.
41.

There's nothing sexier than high heels on a mech.
42.

You can never have too many subplots.
43.

If she sings, she's doomed.
44.

You always remember the sad endings.
45.

Double suicide is romantic.
46.

Outrageous vehicles only make the hero cooler.
47.

Nothing delays romance like unruly neighbors.
48.

Fancy ice cream is for girls only.
49.

The most virtuous character will die.
50.

Hot water has innumerable benefits.

51.

No matter how much blood is lost, no one can die by a nosebleed.
52.

(The same theory above applies to vomiting.)
53.

The girl with the curly hair is always the seductress.
54.

If a sister falls in love with her brother, somewhere down the line you will discover that they're not blood related.
55.

The guy in the baseball cap is always more powerful than he seems.
56.

All demons/monsters have enormous genitalia.
57.

All young children can pilot mecha, you just need to give them a few days.
58.

It is possible to incorporate martial arts into any aspect of life.
59.

All high school kids in Japan have parents that are away on extended business trips.
60.

The oldest sister is the nice one, the youngest sister is the brash one.
61.

You can do anything to the human body as long as you hit the right pressure point.
62.

Consuming enormous amounts of alcohol daily will never have ill effects.
63.

All major villains either want to take over the world or blow it up.
64.

When someone paints up their face, they mean business.
65.

Everyone in Japan has excellent singing voices. (Issitheus's Note: EXCEPT YOMI)
66.

No matter how many times you rebuild, Tokyo keeps getting destroyed in a massive fireball.
67.

The martial arts expert is always defenseless against a slap from the girl who loves him.
68.

TAKAHASHI'S LAW 1: Food is a powerful motivator.
69.

When women are sent out to fight the bad guys, there's always a hunk busily watching over them, often in secret.
70.

The longer it takes to say what your punch is called, the less effective it is.
71.

"Baka" does not mean a student going for his baccalaureate degree.
72.

The more possessive a woman gets, the less likely she will end up with the man of her dreams.
73.

TAKAHASHI'S LAW 2: The two-foot-tall old geezer is someone to be feared.
74.

No matter how big the mech/labor/mobile suit is, if it runs around the corner, the guy chasing it loses the trail.
75.

Extraterrestrial, demons, time travelers, etc. all want to alter the course of history by letting Oda Nobunaga win.
76.

The fate of the planet rests in the hands of the seemingly normal high school student.
77.

The heroine must shred her clothes while transforming into something to fight the bad guys.
78.

True evil can never be destroyed, only banished to some nether realm where it awakes after a few hundred years.
79.

TAKAHASHI'S LAW 3: When being hit on the head, it's the most natural thing in the world to tuck your third and fourth fingers in while keeping the others extended.
80.

Even the bravest souls can be made weak and helpless by the sight of a cute little puppy or kitten.
81.

Never love a Gundam pilot : you're just destined for disappointment (or a funeral).
82.

All persons under the age of 50 can do a ten foot vertical jump from a standing position.
83.

Never trust a guy with shiny teeth
84.

ESP causes more trouble than it solves
85.

The vampire isn't _always_ the bad guy
86.

Nice things can come out of video stores that appear from nowhere
87.

Idiot captains win battles against impossible odds
88.

Order takeout at every opportunity--you might get lucky with a wrong number.
89.

The police are never anywhere there is a large amount of property damage.
90.

All high school principals in Japan are clinically insane.
91.

All people with esper powers give off multicolored auras.
92.

Just about any outer space villain has his sights set on destroying the Earth.
93.

(in conjunction with #92) No other planet in the universe will be able to stop said villain except the Earth.
94.

Any character can make a leap of 300 ft or more if given a good running start.
95.

A samurai sword can cut through anything.
96.

All characters over the age of 60 shrink in height in direct proportion to their age.
97.

When uncovering a fabulous treasure, the thing will be large enough to completely destroy any surrounding structures.
98.

TAKAHASHI'S LAW #4: An anti-climax is a good climax.
99.

Anime villians have the best deaths.
100.

Any love interest will always be possesed by a demon.
101.

Mallets can be stored anywhere on anybody.
102.

If the anime has the word "idol" in the title, then you know that it has to be good.
103.

Takada Yumi really does sing that bad, and people still buy her CDs.
104.

If you make enough porno movies, eventually you can get famous enough to star in commercials. "Iijima Ai desu! 'Manga manga no mori mori!!'"
105.

There is no such thing as a public anime showing without heckling.
106.

You can spot how popular a show is by looking at the number of H doujinshi it has.
107.

The smartest people on r.a.a. never post, which is why the conference's overall IQ is so low.
108.

If the lyrics to the OP song are printed on the screen, then you're watching a show that's not for your age group.
109.

The sexiest girls are drawn by artists whose last names start with "U".
110.

The English words in Jpop songs are put there only because they sound good, since they don't make any sense with the rest of the lyrics.
111.

If you post on the MLs more than Hitoshi does, then you probably post too much.
112.

The hero always loses the first fight with a new enemy.
113.

The guys with two earrings are from the Negaverse.
114.

Don't trust the guys with two earrings.
115.

Any truly evil person who changes sides for the woman he loves will die in that episode.
116.

You CAN do it, but only when it's funny or REALLY important.
117.

You can never have too many carrots.
118.

Hair comes in every shade of the rainbow - and we do mean pink, purple, blue, green....
119.

The song "Cry Me a River" takes on a whole new meaning.


Try to guess what each is from.

[asukafan8]

HAHA LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!

[abyssion1337]

OMFG, That's hilarious.

[Adjacent Badger]

There's quite a lot of Ranma? references.

[Jazean]

...

...

...

*speechless*

umm...

*fails at thinking*

[yagsnave]

14 is not true. Diva was blue and Saya was red in Blood+

[azusaka110]

There's quite a lot of Ranma? references.

Cause Ranma pwns!

[TheEndOfAllThingsGreen]

Here is a GITS and RahXephon factoids:

All armies except the JSDF are incompetent and only serve as cannon fodder for the JSDF, even if Japan is not involved in the conflict.

The United States starts all the wars in the world, galaxy and universe in the future.

[azusaka110]

GITS is also amazing...

[Jazean]

The United States starts all the wars in the world, galaxy and universe in the future.


additional note:

"The country in control of the north American continent" starts all wars in the "insert scope here"

its not always America, just the people there.

[azusaka110]

The United States starts all the wars in the world, galaxy and universe in the future.


additional note:

"The country in control of the north American continent" starts all wars in the "insert scope here"

its not always America, just the people there.


haha... nice note.

[TheEndOfAllThingsGreen]

The United States starts all the wars in the world, galaxy and universe in the future.


additional note:

"The country in control of the north American continent" starts all wars in the "insert scope here"

its not always America, just the people there.



What anime you referring to? From all the one's I have seen the US starts all wars, all the time, like its just a gigantic war in the forum of a country that releases the buildup of war into the world and the universe all the time.

[azusaka110]

The United States starts all the wars in the world, galaxy and universe in the future.


additional note:

"The country in control of the north American continent" starts all wars in the "insert scope here"

its not always America, just the people there.



What anime you referring to? From all the one's I have seen the US starts all wars, all the time, like its just a gigantic war in the forum of a country that releases the buildup of war into the world and the universe all the time.

Who started the "war" in NGE?

[Adjacent Badger]

Is what takes place in Evangelion to be called a war at all? Isn't it rather just a series of battles?

[azusaka110]

Good point... I take the war comment back ^^

[Useful]

The United States starts all the wars in the world, galaxy and universe in the future.


additional note:

"The country in control of the north American continent" starts all wars in the "insert scope here"

its not always America, just the people there.



What anime you referring to? From all the one's I have seen the US starts all wars, all the time, like its just a gigantic war in the forum of a country that releases the buildup of war into the world and the universe all the time.

He's referring to Code Geass. Another one that falls into that category is Phantom (though it doesn't have an anime yet).

[azusaka110]

I really need to start watching more anime... I kinda too ka break (unfortunately)

[acutekat]

i need to watch more anime
but i hate how america is protrayed as starting all the wars

[Collyer-san]

Heres another set of laws I pulled from the Dark Recesses of the Internets.


The Laws of Anime
Version 6.0

Originally compiled and edited by Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito

Read about the history of the Laws of Anime.

1.

Law of Metaphysical Irregularity

The normal laws of physics do not apply.

2.

Law of Differentiated Gravitation

Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

3.

Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics

In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

4.

Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion

In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

5.

Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion

The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

6.

Law of Temporal Variability

Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

7.

First Law of Temporal Mortality

'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.

8.

Second Law of Temporal Mortality

It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

9.

Law of Dramatic Emphasis

Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

10.

Law of Dramatic Multiplicity

Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

11.

Law of Inherent Combustability

Everything explodes. Everything.
*

First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.
*

Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

12.

Law of Phlogistatic Emission

Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

13.

Law of Energetic Emission

There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability.

14.

Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude

The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its size.
*

First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.

15.

Law of Inexhaustability

No one *EVER* runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

16.

Law of Inverse Accuracy

The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect)

Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
*

First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
*

Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
*

Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvres.

17.

Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability

Minmei is a bimbo.

18.

Law of Hemoglobin Capacity

The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

19.

Law of Demonic Consistency

Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.

20.

Law of Militaristic Unreliability

Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.

21.

Law of Tactical Unreliability

Tactical geniuses aren't....

22.

Law of Inconsequential Undetectability

People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

23.

Law of Juvenile Intellectuality

Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.

24.

Law of Americanthropomorphism

Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.
*

First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)
*

Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.

25.

Law of Mandibular Proportionality

(from A. Hicks)

The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

26.

Law of Feline Mutation

(from A. Hicks)

Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
1. be female,
2. will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation,
3. and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

27.

Law of Conservation of Firepower

(from Tom Williams)

Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.

28.

Law of Technological User-Benevolence

(from Tom Williams)

The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

29.

Law of Melee Luminescence

(from Tom Williams)

Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

30.

Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism

(from Tom Williams)

All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

31.

Law of Follicular Chroma Variability

(from Spellweaver)

Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

32.

Law of Follicular Permanence

Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

33.

Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics

*ANY* shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.

34.

Law of Probable Attire

Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.

Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).

Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.
*

First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
*

Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.

35.

Law of Musical Omnipotence

Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.

36.

Law of Quitupular Aggultination

(from Daniel Mikula)

Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:

1. The Hero/Leader
2. His girlfriend
3. His Best Friend/Rival
4. A Hulking Brute
5. A Dwarf/Kid

Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:

1. Extreme Coolness
2. Amazing intelligence
3. Incredible Irritation


37.

Law of Extradimensional Capacitance

(from Jason Bustard)

All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.
*

First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

38.

Law of Hydrostatic Emission

Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

39.

Law of Inverse Attraction

Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get.
*

First Corollary Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

40.

Law of Nasal Sanguination

(from Ryan Pritchard and Jason Aylen)

When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

41.

Law of Xylolaceration

(from Lyndon Harris)

Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

42.

Law of Juvenile Omnipotence

(from Erin Alia)

Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

43.

Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia

There is no Law #43.

44.

Law of Nominative Clamovocation

(from Luiko-Ysabeth and Adrian Hsiah)

The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.

45.

Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis

(from R. A. Hubby)

Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

46.

Law of Flimsy Incognition

(from Conrad Knauer)

Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

[TheEndOfAllThingsGreen]

i need to watch more anime
but i hate how america is protrayed as starting all the wars


I don't find it as bad as the sometimes horrendously blatant Japanese nationalism... more on this when i get back to my dorm.

[acutekat]

i've not seen a lot of that stuff but i guess i'll keep an eye out for that stuff

[Mawelli]

102.

If the anime has the word "idol" in the title, then you know that it has to be good.


idolM@STER!!! :D

[TheEndOfAllThingsGreen]

i've not seen a lot of that stuff but i guess i'll keep an eye out for that stuff


In GITS, the backstory for Saito,

The Major and the oldest member (beard, can't remember his name)
were part of a UN contingent to get a nuke to some target.

Everyone was ridiculously incompetent, at one point an american was called racist- which I thought was funny considering the context wasn't meant to be racist. and guess what? Out of about 10 members consisting of US, UK, Autralian, and Japanese members, who do yuo think acts/leads like they have been in a war before?

Only the Japanese.

Who are the survivors?

Only the Japanese.

Who was able to wound/capture Saito? (a japanese sniper)

Major Motko, a japanese riflewoman.

All the other members died in such a ludicrously stupid way that it was hard NOT to see the nationalism present.


Oh well it IS Japanese animation...what do you expect?

A little more partiality perhaps.

[azusaka110]

Where IS all this coming from?

[Adjacent Badger]

Metaphysical Irregularity
Differentiated Gravitation
Temporal Variability
Dramatic Multiplicity
Inherent Combustability
Phlogistatic Emission
Inverse Lethal Magnitude
Transient Romantic Unreliability
Hemoglobin Capacity
Inconsequential Undetectability
Americanthropomorphism
Mandibular Proportionality
Technological User-Benevolence
Melee Luminescence
Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
Follicular Chroma Variability
Follicular Permanence
Topological Aerodynamics
Musical Omnipotence
Quitupular Aggultination
Extradimensional Capacitance
Hydrostatic Emission
Inverse Attraction
Nasal Sanguination
Xylolaceration
Juvenile Omnipotence
Quadrotriscadecophobia
Nominative Clamovocation
Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
Flimsy Incognition

What the ****! That's helluvalot difficult words.



Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.
http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm11/adjacent_badger/chibi20030711c1RPG4.jpg

[abyssion1337]

YES that's exactly j rpg's are like, strange that I like them better.

[Adjacent Badger]

14.

Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude

The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its size.
*

First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.


http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm11/adjacent_badger/chibi20030606c1RPG2.jpg

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

the one about the sexiest girls being created by artists wit a last name that starts with a "U"
is actually creepily almost always true
haha ;D

[Useful]

27.

Law of Conservation of Firepower

(from Tom Williams)

Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.


First corollary: If said weapon/technique is used first, it will invariably not work.

[Jazean]

every good adventuring party in a "insert genre here" series will have something that is small, cute, and occasionally vital to survival with them against their will, or at least the wills of 1/5th of said party.

[azusaka110]

27.

Law of Conservation of Firepower

(from Tom Williams)

Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.


First corollary: If said weapon/technique is used first, it will invariably not work.

Reminds me of the sniper in Eva, the one that took all of Tokyo 3's power...
That didn't work the first time...
This fact seems to hold true.

[Adjacent Badger]

45.

Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis

(from R. A. Hubby)

Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

That usually works the other way around too.

[smeegs]

i lolled so hard i couldn't read all of em at once

[Useful]

Hehe... I still love this thread. I think there should be an entire blog designed specifically to fine-tune this code of laws until it really covers every classic anime ever made.

We have to exclude stuff like Golgo 13 and other realistic stuff, but it would still be pretty freaking awesome.

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

zat woulds be freakin awezoom

[acutekat]

everybody throws hissy fits right when they are needed and stalk off leaving their buddies at the mercy of unamed meanies

[Useful]

hmmm... definitely needs rewording and a good name. How about:

Assured Hero Unreliability:

When a hero is in the most grevious need or his friends are, help will not arrive until the last second before annihilation.

(probably a corollary of the last law debated, come to think of it)

[Shooterman]

Glasses increase bust size.

[Useful]

Oo! I've got it! Hair length has a direct relationship to bust size! It's so true! Look at Mutsumi from Love Hina, Chisame from Negima, Simca from AirGear (she cuts it later, but that's irrelevant), and even Ohno-sempai from Genshiken! It's true! Shinobu has small boobs, so does Nodoka, Ougi, Haruka from FLCL.

Direct relationship, I'm telling you.

[Issitheus]

Oo! I've got it! Hair length has a direct relationship to bust size! It's so true! Look at Mutsumi from Love Hina, Chisame from Negima, Simca from AirGear (she cuts it later, but that's irrelevant), and even Ohno-sempai from Genshiken! It's true! Shinobu has small boobs, so does Nodoka, Ougi, Haruka from FLCL.

Direct relationship, I'm telling you.

Konata?

[Adjacent Badger]

I'll see what i can do.

[yagsnave]

Glasses increase bust size.


Yuki Nagato?

[Useful]

Konata?

From what?





Glasses increase bust size.

Yeah, that one doesn't work. Ougi from Genshiken wears glasses too, but she proves my law and disproves his (flat chested w/ short hair).

Yuki Nagato?

[yagsnave]

Konata?

From what?



Pretty sure he means Lucky Star. Flat chest and hair that reaches her knees.

[Useful]

Point but no point. Of course it doesn't apply to anime where all the characters are under 13! Silly Iss!


And quite creepy, actually... oh God, getting flashbacks from Eiken.

[yagsnave]

Point but no point. Of course it doesn't apply to anime where all the characters are under 13! Silly Iss!


And quite creepy, actually... oh God, getting flashbacks from Eiken.


Aren't Lucky Star's characters supposedly in high school? Someone said they were after I called it a loli anime, which I maintain it is, because that's how the characters are drawn.

[Useful]

Aaaand you'd be right. But the fact that they're chibified puts them out of the running again: the art style simply doesn't allow for that kind of distinction to be made, so just like hyper-realist anime (Gantz), it's put out of the running.

[yagsnave]

The pink haired girl has boobs. Anyway, anime girls can be really hard to age accurately. I thought Asuka, Kagome, Rushuna, and Robbin were all several years older than their given ages, which seems to be the norm (adolescent girls appearing slightly older than they are); although in the end given age is basically irrelevant. Who's more of a loli, Yuki Nagato who's 3 or Konata who's 15ish?

[Useful]

Dammit, and the pink haired girl has glasses, too! But her hair is just as long as Konota's, so there!

Again, purposeful distortion. Both anime were even made by the same studio, but the style is decidedly different. Maybe we need to make a new rule for this:

Aetas Variability:

NO character's age can be reliably guessed from their appearances.

First Corollary:
The younger or older a character looks, the more likely they are to be older than they appear.

Second Corollary: The more attractive a character is, the more likely they are to be younger than they appear (the Magical Girl Hypothesis)

The notable exception to these rules are MILFs.

[yagsnave]

The glasses rule may still be viable. Yuki doesn't wear the glasses for very long, and apparently didn't need them in the first place, since she never replaced them or was seen fiddling with contacts.

[Useful]

Well, doesn't that actually work against it then? That means she was actually not supposed to have glasses, but her hair is really long. And guess who else has long hair in that anime? Sakaki!

[Adjacent Badger]

Aetas Variability:

NO character's age can be reliably guessed from their appearances.

First Corollary:
The younger or older a character looks, the more likely they are to be older than they appear.

Second Corollary: The more attractive a character is, the more likely they are to be younger than they appear (the Magical Girl Hypothesis)


I like that one

[yagsnave]

Well, doesn't that actually work against it then? That means she was actually not supposed to have glasses, but her hair is really long. And guess who else has long hair in that anime? Sakaki!


Yuki's hair is short dude. The three year old part was sarcasm because from a physiological standpoint she's sixteen or so. Since the glasses were only decorative and are rarely seen I'm thinking she doesn't count; she was more of a rhetorical argument.

[Useful]

Well, doesn't that actually work against it then? That means she was actually not supposed to have glasses, but her hair is really long. And guess who else has long hair in that anime? Sakaki!


Yuki's hair is short dude. The three year old part was sarcasm because from a physiological standpoint she's sixteen or so. Since the glasses were only decorative and are rarely seen I'm thinking she doesn't count; she was more of a rhetorical argument.

CRAP. I mixed up the characters, I was thinking Yomi from Azumanga, who also helps my hypothesis... and my argument stands anyway!

Sorry about that, understood. Plus, Mikuru has the biggest boobs of the trio and the longest hair.

[yagsnave]

Well, doesn't that actually work against it then? That means she was actually not supposed to have glasses, but her hair is really long. And guess who else has long hair in that anime? Sakaki!


Yuki's hair is short dude. The three year old part was sarcasm because from a physiological standpoint she's sixteen or so. Since the glasses were only decorative and are rarely seen I'm thinking she doesn't count; she was more of a rhetorical argument.

CRAP. I mixed up the characters, I was thinking Yomi from Azumanga, who also helps my hypothesis... and my argument stands anyway!

Sorry about that, understood. Plus, Mikuru has the biggest boobs of the trio and the longest hair.


That doesn't mean the glasses rule is rendered invalid. Since we've determined Yuki doesn't count there are no glasses wearers, and anyway it just hypothesizes that characters with glasses will also have big boobs, not that non-glassed characters will have small ones. I'm trying to play devil's advocate against that hypothesis, but no counter examples are coming to mind so I think we could maybe upgrade it from hypothesis to theory.

[Useful]

Oh, that's what you meant. Fine, I can do it: Ougi from Genshiken is a good example. Within Negima, Chisame, Haruna, and Hakase all have glasses. Haruna has long hair and big boobs, Chisame and Hakase have medium length hair and medium boobs.

The only exception to the long hair=big boobs rule in the anime is Kaede (my favorite character), and she has short hair because she's a ninja. Long hair doesn't work well on ninjas, gets in the way. Just like her boobs, which she binds.

[yagsnave]

Excel's hair is pretty long and her boobs are small/mediumish. Significantly smaller than Hyatt's, who has glasses. Could I get a reference picture for the Negima characters? I've only seen clips in AMVs so I have no idea what any of these characters look like. Asuka, Winrey Rockbell, and Robbin could spell trouble for the long hair hypothesis as well. We should start graphing this data so it doesn't get away from us...

[acutekat]

gasoline enduced awesomeness all explosions will be done as though they have at least 5 gallons of gas in them

[Filleraol]

Anime has actually improved my english "skills" pretty much.
I can read english a lot faster and my grammar has improved a little... :D
(wasn't that active at the english lessons at school)

[Adjacent Badger]

The same goes for me. I'd probably be absolutely lousy at German, if it wasn't for manga and my English would probably be weaker too.

On the other hand, had it not been for anime and manga, I had had plenty of time to strengthen my language skills.

[acutekat]

oh the irony

[1337uvis]

Nope, the irony is, that i'm starting to pick up more japanese than german which i studied... it didn't go that well for me, cause i just have to hear people talk the language or i can't get it at all. AND when i hear anybody speak a language i can form a shekshi englush akshunt from any language. But i bet you didn't need to know the last line. Guess thats what alcohol does. I just better hit "post" before i write anything more.Actually i decided to "post" this even earlier but*post*