[simpleton216]

"Really Greg, the only thing Chris Brown is guilty of, a felony." - Andy Levy

[jinzo64]

bankia senbonzakura kageyoshi - byakuya kuchiki

[SplitReality]

"Bitch." - Rick James

[jinzo64]

i love you - people in love

[Distict5-9]

If only my hand was my penis... - Golden Boy

[Ruby150]

I'm bored - Me

[Evileel]

I guess if your hand would be a penis, you wouldn't be bored now - me

[hatz300]

my glasses are bent :D - me

[bloodlover1987]

i only know good...boy.....and rape -hand banana

[Kaiju]

"Grammar...y u no use it?!"

[Ruby150]

Lani: Ok, Hunters, prepare to meet Shotgun Man! Fighter of the Night Man! CHAMPION of the Sun! Aaaaaaah! (Nightfall Part 3)

[Kaiju]

“"Konichiwa! In sight, A Kosher Khan of Kidnappers with knotted harems. A Kabbalist Kaiser of Kaiju, A Kooky King of a Keen-witted Kibosh Kin with Knowledge and Knack to uphold chaos and the karmatic killjoy. A Klik-BOMF enforcer, Killing KIRBYREAGS with Fire! A Kairotic-Moment approaches, An inevitable Karmatic Keyer. Knots, Keyboard, coloring pens and Keen-edged Katana is in thy grasp, I swear to confuse, Kill, Kip from, or cause Knockdown amongst those Killjoyous Kvetching Kaput falsely Karmatic-Knights who wish my kind Killed! So before I say Kthnxby I confess it is an honor to meet you and you may call me /K/””. - Thyself.

[Ruby150]

Lani: You will be the Master Chief, one day, believe it! (Nightfall Part 1)

[BopBopBop]

"Im not a ****phile, the girls i like just happen to be children"
-Me

[Ruby150]

Lani: The safety bubble is gone, I feel cold! (nightfall Part 2)

[hatz300]

"i'll have a better quote next post . . . no i swear, for real this time . . . why don't you believe me?" - me

[Kaiju]

WHY DOES MY EVERYTHING HURT? - Me

[hatz300]

"It's raining.
this calls for action!
this calls for hats!
YEAH!
.
.
.
hats are awesome :D" - action bunnies

[jinzo64]

cero - grimmjow

[Ruby150]

DJ Earworm's music is so addictive - Me

[Kaiju]

"Note to self: I should really quit getting off to my own art" -Me.

[Ruby150]

Yeah, ya should - Me

[bloodlover1987]

nothing wrong with that -me

[Kaiju]

"DAMN CONFLICTING OPINIONS!" -Me

[simpleton216]

"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss firing a gun in the air is a felony, enjoy your 10 year." - Me

[jinzo64]

gravity is a myth the sucks- me

[Diclonius]

"Be careful, There are occupational hazards to being a God."-Carl -The Wizards Dilemma

[jinzo64]

mum fought she'd be on before me not a chance- my sister refering to animal crossing on wii

[MADEVIL]

space, space, space - portal 2

[jinzo64]

if the earth were flat there'd be no hills,moutains,cliffs,ravines,holes,lakes,seas or oceans- me

[Guthix]

eat poo its good for you -me 3 years back being high for not sleeping for 3 days

[Distict5-9]

http://img3.lln.crunchyroll.com/i/spire1/06042008/f/7/e/d/f7edd838e8aff0_full.jpg

[jinzo64]

the brazil nut can be sexual transmitted- steven fry

[Distict5-9]

Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow's papers? 'French Fries' - James French's, convicted murderer, last words

[SplitReality]

"Sometimes I go on the internet and wonder if 2 nukes was really enough." - Some Youtube guy.

[Arock]

"I've come for the lolis. Deliver them unto me." - SplitReality

[hatz300]

"Action Figures: Always check if their wearing panties..." - Haruhi demotivational poster

[Kaiju]

"Now, I don't have all the facts...but I think that the Washington Monument bathes in the reflection pool when we are all asleep" John Stewart making fun of Herman Cain

[hatz300]

" . . . " - hatz300's favorite line

[Arock]

"Flaming nudity shall destroy the hats" - SplitReality

[hatz300]

"Damnit split always makes the best quotes!" - hatz300

[jinzo64]

maybe if he was in the back -laura

[hatz300]

"I don't breathe. I just allow air to enter my lungs. It's a privilage for the air, not a right or requirement. " - SplitReality

[synbad2]

I cast Magic Missile - Unknown (to me)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=KMfgcVTo9w0

[hosokawa37]

"Hair is like a penis: lays down during the day, changes size in water, and sticks up straight in the air in the morning." -Hosokawa37 x3

[SplitReality]

"Has he lolis within his penis?
We'll just Molest him there
Why should we even care?"
-Mad Libs thread.

[hatz300]

"**** Canada they are nothing more than the hat of the usa " - bloodlover1987
quote of the day for opening a new world of hatful possibilities >: D

[Arock]

Speak the name of Ika, and Blood shalt appear before the. Thou shalt reap divine punishment and be doomed to eternal graping wilt servicing thy new squid mitress, Ika Musume. So it is written by the prophet, in the ink of squid - Splitreality

[hatz300]

we have too many split quotes! i demand diversity!
"loli love time :3" - Zuiichi

[SplitReality]

"how do you lustfully skeet?!?!?! and why does it get your mom erect?!?!?!" - hatz300

[hosokawa37]

"Some will glomp, some will cum,
Some were born to feel the loli's breast" - mad libs thread

[jinzo64]

soifons cookies are for my eyes only-me

[Arock]

A loli is a girl trapped in that magical time where she's not yet bloomed into a flower but no longer just a bud. A time when the beauty of her developing body radiates and entices us lolicons, who admire and appreciate the art that is the young and untainted flower - Splitreality

[hatz300]

(continuation of last quote) "They bring with them an innocence that makes one want to corrupt them. " - SplitReality

[SplitReality]

"Arock used his blue fortune to study criminology, to train his body to erotic perfection, and to acquire high tech vehicles and cats to fight crime in his hometown of space." - Mad Libs thread.

[jinzo64]

bankai raikoben jackuo soifon

[Distict5-9]

MEEEEEEEEDIIIIIIC! - Every TF2 player as soon as a Medic passes nearby them

Need a dispenser here! - Everyone less than 10 feet away from any Engineer

[Backmask]

MEEEEEEEEDIIIIIIC! - Every TF2 player as soon as they hear gunfire

fix'd that for you.

[jinzo64]

fix'd that for you - backmask

[hatz300]

"This is called an H type steel pipe. Isn't this a little ecchi?" - soul eater ch. 91

[jinzo64]

soifon is the best of all the anime characters. me

[Kaiju]

soifon is the best of all the anime characters. me

"OBJECTION!" - Phoenix Wright

[Distict5-9]

"OBJECTION!" - Phoenix Wright

^ This - Every user on the Internet

[jinzo64]

soifon is the best captain in bleach - me

[Kaiju]

soifon is the best captain in bleach - me

"Kenpachi and Unohana would like to have a word with you." - Letter from the Soul Society

"Oh yes, she is the best ;) <3" - Yoruichi

[SplitReality]

soifon is the best captain in bleach - me


"Kenpachi and Unohana would like to have a word with you." - Letter from the Soul Society


^

[jinzo64]

i'm not scared of kenpachi or unohana - me

[hatz300]

"Believe it" - Naruto Uzumaki

[jinzo64]

soifon is better than both goku and superman - me

[hatz300]

" Women don't exist on the internet."
"Baka and Bambi are just figments of our fragile little minds reaching out toward a fantasy that will never be true." - SplitReality

[jinzo64]

i got pink eye from a pillow - me

[SplitReality]

"I told my dad I wanted a porno for christmas, but he said 'you'll shoot your eye out kid.' " - My Nephew

[jinzo64]

why so serious - the joker

[Arock]

He challenged a giant to a fight with nothing but a sword. He stole an enemy's weapon, and invented a finishing move for it, through sheer force of will. He came back from the dead TWICE just to tell his little brother how awesome he is. He inspired a rebellion that ended a millenium-old tyranny. He wears sunglasses despite living his whole life underground solely because they look good.

Kamina: the manliest man in the history of manliness - random youtube user

[Arock]

double post for the win

Women are like gremlins, you don't feed them after midnight and when you get them wet they multiply - Ukir and other friends

[jinzo64]

when do you feed gremlins? - me

[hatz300]

"Quick! To our secret anti retard fort!!" - Welcome to the NHK
"BE GONE DIRTY WHORES!!!" - Welcome to the NHK (same episode too XD)

[jinzo64]

god damn it sonic why won't you jump - me playing sonic generations

[XelaisPWN]

"Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"

[SplitReality]

"Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"

http://cache.ohinternet.com/images/d/d7/LOL_WUT_PEAR.jpg

[jinzo64]

"Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"

sorry does not compute

[hatz300]

Don't know where that quote is from but there's obviously an error in translation somewhere from thought to speech

[Backmask]

Really? You people haven't heard that phrase before? I'm disappointed in all of you with the exception of Xela.

"Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys.

Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over
a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map.

As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement
ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves
on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects.

Yawn.

Chess has ****ty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do ****. I think the
developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any
other unit.

The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare
combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named
this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life.

Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem,
except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while
every other unit in the game dances around him.

Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money.
Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead.

3 out of 10." - Some copypasta

[hatz300]

I've bought all 3 actually - Hatz300
"Not 11, though. **** 11. ಠ_ಠ " - XelaisPWN
such hatred for a number . . .

[Kaiju]

"Hey, I like the Number 11." - Kaiju

[hatz300]

"740,435 people think that 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 - 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 x 0 = 0 . . ." - Hatz300
take it up with Rat
"probably be something like "Hello Kitty's Super Mega Pink Pony Adventure on Barbie's Yacht Featuring Bob the Builder" and it'll be a dating sim XD" - Hatz300
So this is the game that i'm going to create apparently, who wants to beta test it?

[Kaiju]

"BATMAN DIED FOR YOUR SINS" - Jesus

[Guthix]

NERD! -picolo+1/3rd the world

[XelaisPWN]

"I'm disappointed in all of you with the exception of Xela." -Backmask

[hatz300]

""I'm disappointed in all of you with the exception of Xela." -Backmask " - XelaisPWN

[Kaiju]

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR5Wt146-op-cAiJ3Jsox3ysD74EZfxBQh9hltsJf-t_w7ah-DqlFULfLGhXg

[jinzo64]

tis a clever ruse that turned in to a fact-me

[Guthix]

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR5Wt146-op-cAiJ3Jsox3ysD74EZfxBQh9hltsJf-t_w7ah-DqlFULfLGhXg

lol

[jinzo64]

oh yes - churchell

[Ruby150]

Of course he does, he's Kaiser! He always knows where he's- what the **** am I saying?! - TFS Plays Death Toll Part 2

[hatz300]

Shanks - "Here's a hat"
Luffy - "Bitchin'"
- None Piece

[jinzo64]

sean lock scottish mathamatics

[regnier]

if it bleeds,it's too old - **** bear

[XelaisPWN]

"i got bells on mah feet :3 ya see those are the souls of other clowns"

[jinzo64]

wayne rooney- jedwood your hair is cool

[Kaiju]

"M'aiq's father was also called M'aiq. As was M'aiq's father's father. At least, thats what he said.

M'aiq carries two weapons, to be safe. What if one breaks? That would be most unlucky.

M'aiq is always in search of calipers, yet he finds none. Where could they have gone?

M'aiq hears many stories of war... yet few of them are true.

How does anyone know there was a city of Winterhold? M'aiq did not see it with his eyes. Did you?

Too much magic can be dangerous. M'aiq once had two spells and burned his sweetroll

What does this mean, to combine magic? Magic plus magic is still magic.

Some say Alduin is Akatosh, some say M'aiq is a lair. Dont believe any of these things.

It does not matter to M'aiq how strong or smart one is. It only matters what one can do.

Dragons were never gone. They were just invisible and very very quiet.

Werebears? Where? Bears? Men that are bears?

Much snow in Skyrim. Enough snow. M'aiq does not want it anymore.

Snow falls. Why worry where it goes? M'aiq thinks the snowflakes are pretty.

M'aiq once walked to High Hrothgar. So many steps, he lost count.

Once M'aiq got into trouble in Riften, and fled to Windhelm. It is good that nobody there cared.

M'aiq can travel fast across the land. Some lazy types take carriages. It is all the same to M'aiq.

M'aiq does not understand what is so impressive about shouting. M'aiq can shout whenever he wants.

M'aiq saw a mudcrab the other day. Horrible Creatures.

M'aiq loves the people of Skyrim. Many interesting things they say to each other.

Nords are so serious about beards. So many beards. M'aiq thinks they wish they had glorious manes like Khajiit.

M'aiq does not remember his childhood. Perhaps he never had one.

M'aiq is very practical. He has no need for Mysticism.

ord's armor has lots of fur. This sometimes makes M'aiq nervous.

M'aiq was soul trapped once. Not very pleasant. You should think about that once in a while.

Something strange happens to Khajiit when they arrive in Skyrim.

M'aiq has heard the people in Skyrim are better-looking than the ones in Cyrodiil. He has no opinion on the matter. All people are beautiful to him.

Why do soldiers bother with target practice? One learns best by hitting real people.

M'aiq knows why Falmer are blind. It has nothing to do with the Dwemer disappearing. Really.

M'aiq has heard it is dangerous to be your friend.

The people of Skyrim are more open-minded about certain things than people in other places.

Some like taking friends on adventures. M'aiq thinks being alone is better. Less arguing about splitting treasure.

Skyrim was once the land of many butterflies, Now not so much.

Don't try blocking if you have two weapons. You will only get confused. Much better to hit twice anyway. " ~ M'iaq the Liar (Skyrim)

[jinzo64]

Arock - thats not disturbing at all, its jinzo

[Arock]

yay i was quoted

[jinzo64]

indeed you were
i liked your comment

[regnier]

" Papa? I love you." Ushio

[jinzo64]

ken-chan - yachiru

[Barty64]

I am the one and only. - A Mole

[BleachBebopAlchemist]

Today I was driving along in my car, and by car I mean cardboard box. With wheels painted on the side. - Duke

[jinzo64]

card games on motocycles - jack atlas

[Ruby150]

Remember the licking hand? That's gone. - Vic Mignogna

[Kaiju]

Santa Christ, Santa Christ, we all love Santa Christ
He is Santa and Jesus, goddamn it's Santa Christ
He atoned for all our sins, but he also likes pancakes
He saved puppies from a fire, and he also likes pancakes
He played bass for Aerosmith, reads to sick orphans too
He goes surfing in space and makes really good fondue
He shoots lasers from his eyes, mend your curtains for free
He'll fight monsters for fun and hang out with Mr. T
Santa Christ, Santa Christ, Santa Christ, Santa Christ
You are the best and we love you, Santa Christ
- "Santa Christ" - The Nostalgia Critic

[regnier]

I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow in the knee - city guard

[Ruby150]

Well, I was not actually there, but I heard someone played a card game, and then BOOM! End of the world. It totally happened, just like I said! Just card game. BOOM! Everyone dead. - Paradox (Bonds Beyond Time Abridged)

[Kaiju]

Yami: The Entire world...or card games...Tough Choice.
Yusei: There IS no choice. Without Card games this world isn't worth living in!
Yami: You're right Yusei. You know you always were my favorite protagonist.
Yusei: Right back at yah, Yugi. It feels so good to know you'll be playing with me...
*cue porno music*
Yusei: No Homo.
Yugi. ...Uh-Yes! No Homo Indeed.
-BBT Abridged

[Ruby150]

Banner: I've never felt so Asian! - BBT Abridged

[Antonio Black]

*Bender's on fire and the crew's trapped underneath the ship*
Robot 1-X: "How may I help you?"
Bender: "Save my friends! AGH! And Zoidberg!"

-Futurama, "Obsolutely Fabulous" (yeah, that's how they spelled it)

[jinzo64]

nomnomnom- me eating biscuits

[Ruby150]

Lani: Step 1: Cut a hole in that box!
Kaiser: Step 2: Put your dick in that box.
Lani: Hey, Zoey! Come open this box! (TFS Plays Left 4 Dead 2 Death Toll Part 6)

[Guthix]

Is it fappable? -me

[Ruby150]

Lani: I think we need to hold out in your mom, there's enough space for us all to fit, there, and... she does tend to funnel things (TFS Play Left 4 Dead 2 Death Toll Part 6)

[jinzo64]

my story starts in the 12 centuary - excalibur

[Ruby150]

taka: Shoot them in the testicles (TFS Plays Serious Sam Cairo: Part 1)

[hatz300]

"Normally I hate being eaten by tigers. But not today." - nameless character in oglaf comic

[hosokawa37]

"There are 10 kinds of people; those who understand binary, and those who don't." - TV

[Luppi-tan]

Pot Prism Power!!
Itsuki Koizumi: The Abridging of Haruhi Suzumiya Episode (5?) (FullmetalChao)

[NodMan]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1R50LpFh_M

"I felt like a kid wrestling his dad! hahah", Forest Griffin.

[Darthelm]

"Arock is now known as Titty Sprinkles" - Darthelm

[Luppi-tan]

Why is the rum gone?- Jack Sparrow

[Haar]

AMVs stopped being special when some ****head decided that leaving the subtitles in the final edit was OK. - The Angry Otaku.

[Kaiju]

"Try Better" - Taka

[glory of llama]

You mad, mommy? Mommy you mad? You mad mommy?
- little girl at the store I work at, to her mom

[BleachBebopAlchemist]

“We are not going to die."

Butters stared up at me, pale, his eyes terrified. "We're not?"

No. And do you know why?" He shook his head. "Because Thomas is too pretty to die. And because I'm too stubborn to die." I hauled on the shirt even harder. "And most of all because tomorrow is Oktoberfest, Butters, and polka will never die.” - Harry Dresden

[QUADChromatic]

THATS STILL A F***ING WHALE CHIEF.-Lelouch Code MENT - Episode 13

[jinzo64]

go pokeball - ash ketchum

[Luppi-tan]

Chocolate? Chocolate!? CHOCOLATE!! CHOOOOOOCOLATE!!!: The Chocolate Guy in Spongebob Squarepants

[Kaiju]

"This may seem a little off topic, but how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you already dug yourself into." Freeza, DBZA, Episode 27

[NodMan]

"Push these sand-rakers off our world!" - Tribes Ascend Blood Eagle announcer.

[Distict5-9]

"The goal of the Imperial Guard is to clog the enemy's barrels with dead bodies." - Anonymous Warhammer 40k player

[glory of llama]

Haha, that's so true.

"I shall flense the skin from their bones!
-Daemon Prince, WH40K: DoW

[Arock]

"BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD"
"SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE"
-WH40k

[zemoo]

"I will flay the skin from your flesh and the flesh from your bones and scrape your bones dry. And still you will not have suffered enough." -Greven il-Vec, to Gerrard

[SplitReality]

"They COME!" -w40k

[Arock]

"DAKA DAKA DAKA DAKA!!!"-w40k

[glory of llama]

"EVERYBODY, POLKA!!!"
-Goblin Polka Band, Magic: The Gathering (original pc version)

[SplitReality]

"Yes! Yes! Oh, let us serve you!" - Chaos Cultist, w40k

[glory of llama]

"We are eager to please!" - Chaos Cultist

[Narutoballz213]

I see the Ending - The World God Only Knows

[Kaiju]

"Here's da plan: win. If we lose, it's because ya didn't follow da plan." - Orks on Strategy
"If ya misses it, it's obviously one o' ours. If ya hits it, den it must be one o' theirs." - Orks on Friendly Fire
"Orkses is never beaten in battle. If we win we win, if we die we die so it don't count as beat. If we runs for it we don't die neither, so we can always come back for anuvver go, see!" - Orks on Victory and Defeat
"Ha! Dese gits just made da classic blunda: attackin' an Ork who 'adn't found 'em already! Now we'z can stomp dem fasta, haha!" - Orks on Ambushes

All from W40k

[Arock]

"Enemies of the Imperium hear me. You have come here to die, the immortal emperor is with us and we are invincible. His soldiers will strike you down, his war-machines will crush you under their treads, his mighty guns will bring the very sky crashing down upon you. You cannot win" - w40k

[NodMan]

"See! Hitler, on ice!" - History of the World Part 1.

[Distict5-9]

Lizzie Borden took an axe,
and gave her mother forty whacks.
And when she saw what she had done,
she gave her father forty-one. - Nursery rhyme...(?!)

[NodMan]

"All that is left of the Hooded Mantis, is his Hood. Discarded like the trench coat of a killed spy." - Monster Bug Wars.

[Diclonius]

It's nice seeing people solving things with a notepad and a computer panel instead of whipping out a superfuturistic mega laser magic death cannon.

[jinzo64]

things like this and things like that-konata

[glory of llama]

"That damned bitch---she had FRIENDS?! Bitches like you shouldn't be reading!"
-Kuroki, It's Not My Fault I'm Not Popular manga

[Distict5-9]

^ Awesome! Someone else who actually reads that manga!

http://i1099.photobucket.com/albums/g399/Pants-Man/Screenshot2011-11-18at190647.png

[jinzo64]

i jsut had sex- akon and the lonely island

[John Nuke]

Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals!... except the weasels. - Homer

[DonnieDooms]

What you think is a knight in shining armor may turn out to be an idiot in tinfoil

[John Nuke]

I detest what you write, but I would give my life to make it possible for you to continue to write - Voltaire

[Kaiju]

"No White Knight goes Unpunished."

[John Nuke]

Y U NO? - The Why You No Guy

[DonnieDooms]

I have a dream, where black people and white people can play poker with the same chips

[John Nuke]

"The condition of man... is a condition of war of everyone against everyone." - Thomas Hobbes

[DonnieDooms]

With the weapons that would be used to fight world war 3, world war 4 will surely be fought with sticks and stones

[John Nuke]

You wouldn't buy an octopus one bloody shoe would ya? - Jim Royle

[DonnieDooms]

Im going to grape you in the mouth - Whitest kids you know

[John Nuke]

Can't touch this!

[DonnieDooms]

Go f*ck yourself - Dick cheney

[Kaiju]

"Oh I'm Sorry. I thought you were a rare bird." -Dick Cheney after the hunting "accident"

[DonnieDooms]

I'm the decider - a monkey named bush

[John Nuke]

Yabba dabba doooooooo!

[ithappens]

We first fought the heathens in the name of religion, then Communism, and now in the name of drugs and terrorism. Our excuses for global domination always change.
- Serj Tankian

[DonnieDooms]

Smash the control machines - Otep

[Eggman]

I wouldn't help you, if it was you i got to do- Desert Punk

[jinzo64]

I am the light in the dark, I am truth,ally to justice, nigthmare to you. - goku

[Kaiju]

Goku: I'm Goku, I'm Insane! From Earth!
Vegeta: He means Saiyan
Freeza: Huh, between you and the Namekian I seem to have lost my touch at Genocide...
- Dragonball Abridged Episode 27

[glory of llama]

"Well, you sure do have a purdy mouth, Bishounen Buddha."
-Drunk and Bitter Jesus, Ghastly's Ghastly Comic

[ijp92]

From Stripes
Captain Stillman: [spying on female soldiers taking showers] I wish I was a loofah.

[SplitReality]

"Split, if I were gay I'd want you to be my boyfriend." - RBRat3

[Distict5-9]

"I started to walk down the street when I heard a voice saying: 'Good evening, Mr. Dowd.' I turned, and there was this big white rabbit leaning against a lamp-post. Well, I thought nothing of that, because when you've lived in a town as long as I've lived in this one, you get used to the fact that everybody knows your name." - Harvey

[glory of llama]

"I would **** that chair so hard"
-LOLWTFBBQ, Random Picture Thread, taken totally out of context

[ijp92]

"The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault."
— Harry Dresden

[NodMan]

"I'm gonna do you grandma style..." - Will Ferrell: Good Guys.

[ijp92]

"The world is getting weirder. Darker every single day. Things are spinning around faster and faster, and threatening to go completely awry. Falcons and falconers. The center cannot hold.

But in my corner of the country, I'm trying to nail things down. [...] I don't want to live in a world where the strong rule and the weak cower. I'd rather make a place where things are a little quieter. Where trolls stay the hell under their bridges, and where elves don't come swooping out to snatch children from their cradles. Where vampires respect the limits, and where the faeries mind their p's and q's.

My name is Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden. Conjure by it at your own risk. When things get strange, when what goes bump in the night flicks on the lights, when no one else can help you, give me a call. I'm in the book."
— Harry Dresden

[Luppi-tan]

"Yes, my Lord.": Sebastian Michaelis

[NLAlchemist]

Samson Simpson (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0929934/): I'm going to kill your little Mexican friend
Scarface (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0246585/): I'm Cuban, B!
Samson Simpson (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0929934/): Ahhh, yes! Cuban Bee!

[NodMan]

"Ever had air just leave your body? It's just like '**** IT!' *whoos*..." - Richard Pryor.

[Luppi-tan]

Magic must defeat magic!!: Uncle

[ijp92]

"The hand is faster than the eye.
*WHAM*
But you should have been watching the FOOT!"
- Uncle

[Arock]

"Viva La Miku Boodle" - Darthelm

[LurkerSubmarine]

"http://i.imgur.com/soE6u.jpg"

[NodMan]

"I ain't scared of you, mother****ers!" - Bernie Mac.

[ijp92]

"So a seemingly insignificant item from the beginning of the story is suddenly and literally RAGE'd into existence by a bloodthirsty purple alien juggalo, and the very same item connects randomly and equally insignificant-looking events to explain the cause of pretty much every bad thing in the story.

And it was all Betty Crocker's doing, because she tweeted an ICP video to a time traveling hipster wannabe on a site called Delirious Biznasty. In the past. Also, she's an alien too.

For those keeping score at home, this made things less confusing.

Welcome to Homestuck."

-Originally posted by thegreenspark on MSPA Forum (8/6/11)

[jinzo64]

go pokemon of random name- random pokemon trainer

[ijp92]

IGNORE ME!!!
-- the grand galactic inquisitor

[jinzo64]

hay listen,hay listen press A to open this door - Navi from ocarina of time

[ijp92]

Accounting Troll: Over here we have our random number generator.
Number Generator Troll: NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE.
Dilbert: Are you sure that's random?
Accounting Troll: That's the problem with randomness. You can never be sure.
- Dilbert

[hosokawa37]

"send me to heaven with a slim jim" - bill engvall

[glory of llama]

"Gentlemen, BEHOLD! My FIANCE!"
"Eh um, I think that's a giant spider."
"... you're right! I've been betrayed! Run!"
-ATHF

[abyssion1337]

"Ladies and gentlemen! You've read about it in the papers! Now witness, before your very eyes, that most rare and tragic of nature's mistakes! I give you: the average man. Physically unremarkable, it instead possesses a deformed set of values. Notice the hideously bloated sense of humanity's importance. Also note the club-footed social conscience and the withered optimism. It's certainly not for the squeamish, is it? Most repulsive of all, are its frail and useless notions of order and sanity. If too much weight is placed upon them... they snap. How does it live, I hear you ask? How does this poor pathetic specimen survive in today's harsh and irrational environment? I'm afraid the sad answer is, 'Not very well'. Faced with the inescapable fact that human existence is mad, random, and pointless, one in eight of them crack up and go stark slavering buggo! Who can blame them? In a world as psychotic as this... any other response would be crazy!"

[Kaiju]

"Ladies and gentlemen! You've read about it in the papers! Now witness, before your very eyes, that most rare and tragic of nature's mistakes! I give you: the average man. Physically unremarkable, it instead possesses a deformed set of values. Notice the hideously bloated sense of humanity's importance. Also note the club-footed social conscience and the withered optimism. It's certainly not for the squeamish, is it? Most repulsive of all, are its frail and useless notions of order and sanity. If too much weight is placed upon them... they snap. How does it live, I hear you ask? How does this poor pathetic specimen survive in today's harsh and irrational environment? I'm afraid the sad answer is, 'Not very well'. Faced with the inescapable fact that human existence is mad, random, and pointless, one in eight of them crack up and go stark slavering buggo! Who can blame them? In a world as psychotic as this... any other response would be crazy!"

The Killing Joke, FTW.

[abyssion1337]

Everyone should read the killing joke

[Kaiju]

I agree with that sentiment greatly. Hell I think everyone should read at least one Alan Moore written comic in their life time. Especially The Killing Joke, Watchmen and V for Vendetta.

[blades34AK]

"7 minutes, 7 minutes is all I have to play with you."
- Albert Wesker

[jinzo64]

the killing joke is to long - me

[MADEVIL]

I'm going to cuddle the **** out of you - SplitReality to Arock

[NodMan]

"SHUT YOUR ****ING **** HOLE **** FAC*E" - Naruto: I am wearing a schoolgirl outfit!

[jinzo64]

i miss being graped by blood - me

[Diclonius]

Zoë: Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killin'?
Book: Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.

[jinzo64]

who did you get those little dots above the e?

[Guthix]

mmm bacon -mad

[jinzo64]

but lamb is better - me

[ijp92]

"We're not just doing this for money. We're doing it for a ****load of money!"
—Lone Starr

[jinzo64]

can i have some that money - me

[ijp92]

"Beware of being the roller, when there's nothing left to roll."
--Shel Silverstein

[Karbunos]

"Life is not unfair: It just loves to ruin all your best-laid plans."
-Karbunos

[ijp92]

DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.

-- (Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens)

[NLAlchemist]

'Dingo Ate My Baby'Lindy Chamberlain-Creighton

[ijp92]

God does not play dice with the universe: He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.

-- (Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens)

[jinzo64]

the phantom of the opera - nightwish

[ijp92]

The kraken stirs. And ten billion sushi dinners cry out for vengeance.

-- (Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens)

[Kaiju]

"...I reserve the right to change my opinion at a moment's notice." - Rin Tezuka, Katawa Shoujo (Emi's Route)

[ijp92]

"Don’t psychoanalyze me, Lucas. It’s a deep, dark hole and you don’t wanna go there."

-- Wednesday Addams

[Luppi-tan]

I ate her liver with a side of fava beans... Slluuuurrp...
Hannibal Lecter

[ijp92]

Pvt. Joe Bowers: Why me? Every time Metsler says, "Lead, follow, or get out of the way," I get out of the way.
Sgt. Keller: Yeah, when he says that, you're not supposed to choose "get out of the way." It's supposed to embarrass you into leading - or at least following.
Pvt. Joe Bowers: That doesn't embarrass me."

-- Idiocracy

[Luppi-tan]

"Wanna go penguin sledding with me!?" Aang, from Avatar: The Last Airbender

[HeyHeyHeyStayOuttaMyShed]

http://i.imgur.com/qLdhr.jpg - ssgwnbtd replacing Mass with Ass just for the lulz

[gaara129]

Ansem: Darkness is the hearts true essence

[HeyHeyHeyStayOuttaMyShed]

Sephiroth: On your knees. I want you to beg for forgiveness.

[jinzo64]

heyheyheystayouttamyshed - parody fluttershy

[Diclonius]

I dont know about cards but I think these four fives beat a full house.- omar

[hosokawa37]

'for once, i wish the right thing... and the topless thing was the same thing' - Kelso, That 70s Show

[!Je$u$!]

"sanity is for the weak" - random chaos marine
"Enemies WE NEED ENEMIES! - random chaos marine

[jinzo64]

i pity the fool who's ilogical - lennard - big bang theory

[ijp92]

Never argue with an idiot/fool/maniac. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
-- proverb

[Luppi-tan]

Oh, you dirty bitch! Work the shaft!: Alucard (Hellsing Ultimate Abridged TFS)

[NLAlchemist]

I just saw a young boy walking down the street with a sweat shirt that said FREE MY DAD now how real is that!

(some kid)

[jinzo64]

pointless thread is pointless - many people in the forums

[hosokawa37]

'I'm tired of my brain doing stuff' - Fry [Futurama]

[jinzo64]

i don't think i'm the only one who thinks it's weird- sarah milican

[glory of llama]

"Get back here! You can't escape your ****-whippin'! - john Cheese at cracked.com

And insanely enough, when I had typed in "****-whippin" my phone actually suggested "****-whipping" like it was a regular thing I type....

[jinzo64]

i hate realizing that my previous statement is retarded- me

[Diclonius]

he had the win in his hand and it slipped through his fingers. He tried to eat cereal with a fork.-yipes

[Luppi-tan]

Despite my most careful searches and investigations, I have never since been able to find the Rue d'Ausseil. But I am not wholly sorry; either for this or for the loss in undreamable abysses of the closely written sheets which alone could have explained the music of Erich Zann. (The Music of Erich Zann: HP Lovecraft)

[glory of llama]

"I don't need luck; I have ammo." - Grunt, ME3

[bloodlover1987]

Get That Bitch A Cannon....Bitches Love Cannons!.... .. _ hellsing abridged

[thedarkmessenger]

Got that bitch a _______ Bitches love _______ - Internet meme

[hosokawa37]

'Lady Gaga is like a carnival ride: from a distance, it looks fun, but when you get up close, you dont wanna ride it' - bill engvall

[ijp92]

“You backbiting, poisonous, treacherous, deceitful, wicked, clever girl. If this works I'll buy you a pony.”
― Jim Butcher, Summer Knight

[Luppi-tan]

I LIKE to scramble the fairies!! -Jorgen VonStrangle-

[ijp92]

“In the name of the Pizza Lord. Charge!”
― Jim Butcher, Summer Knight

[Diclonius]

I am prepared to scour the earth for this mother ****er, if he goes to indo-china I want a nigga hiding in his bowl of rice to pop a cap in his ass. pulp fiction

[Backmask]

"Petrifying gaze, deadly fangs, knifelike dorsal spines, venomous saliva ... Am I missing anything? ... Toxic bones? Seriously?" - Samila, Murasa Expeditionary House

[jinzo64]

i would run a thousand miles just to see you again.
i would cross the widest see just to touch your face again.
nemesea - home

[Luppi-tan]

"So what can I do for you Father O'Malley'O'Connel'O'Carrol'O'Reilley'O'Brien'O'Sul livan? Who is also Italian?" Father Alexander Anderson (Hellsing Ultimate Abridged)

[Diclonius]

If you can't figure out why a clown shooting a ninja is forty kinds of awesome, it's not going to waste time explaining it to you.- Yahtzee

[Luppi-tan]

Cuz I'm a gamblin' Boogeyman, although I don't play fair! The Oogey Boogey Man: Nightmare Before Christmas

[jinzo64]

it's so much fun with lives on the line, not mine of course, but yours oh boy now that would be just fine.
The Oogey Boogey Man: Nightmare Before Christmas

[Distict5-9]

"My balls are as endless as the universe!" - Anonymous

[ijp92]

Susan smiled at me, giving Molly the Female Once-Over--a process by which one woman creates a detailed profile of another woman based upon about a million subtle details of clothing, jewelry, makeup, and body type, and then decides how much of a social threat she might be. Men have a parallel process, but it's binary: Does he have beer? If yes, will he share with me?

-- Harry Dresden

[jinzo64]

"My balls are as endless as the universe!" - Anonymous

so mr anonymous has big balls

[ijp92]

"You can say what you like about Gentleman Johnny Marcone, but he has a set of brass balls that drag the ground when he walks."

-- Harry Dresden

[jinzo64]

hey listen, hey listen.navi ocarina of time

[Luppi-tan]

Believe it!! Naruto... :(

[bloodlover1987]

RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE - mass effect fanbase

[LawRayLiet]

I am the slam of my jam.
Slam is my body, and jam is my blood.
I have slammed over a thousand jams.
Unknown to slam.
Nor known to jam.
Withstood DMCA takedown notices to slam many jams.
Yet these slams will never jam anything.
So as I jam,
Unlimited Slam Works.

[NodMan]

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs.

Best FML, in ages.

[ijp92]

Hobart: Sir, there are charity people here to see you.
Navin R. Johnson: What? Send them away. There are plenty of people more deserving than me!
Hobart: But these people want *you* to give, sir.

[Diclonius]

good night dont let the demons of hell suck out your soul and leave you to wander the earth alone and helpless....i mean sleep tight :)

[QUADChromatic]

Don't piss down my neck and tell me it's raining-Wrex Mass Effect

[Distict5-9]

Once I shove it in, any straight guy
Will soon be sunk by its tough appeal!
I wedge it all the way in, and all
The fat, hard-struggling punks get dragged along!
-Captain Murasa's Ass Anchor

[Kaiju]

Once I shove it in, any straight guy
Will soon be sunk by its tough appeal!
I wedge it all the way in, and all
The fat, hard-struggling punks get dragged along!
-Captain Murasa's Ass Anchor

LOL, I love the Touhou fan vocal vids. The Ones by IOSYS and Innocent Key are hilarious and good (Alice -> Dere ;A; ) , the Sound Holic ones are damnright awesome, quoting one has truly earned the comment of the day.

[1-13R3T1K]

You look like your going to spend your life having one Epiphany after another,Always thinking you've finally figured out what's holding you back,And how you can finally be productive and creative and turn your life around.But nothing will ever change. That cycle of mediocrity isn't due to some obstacle.It's who you are.But nothing will ever change.That cycle of mediocrity isn't due to some obstacle.It's who you are.The thing standing in the way of your dreams is that the person having them is you. - Sean D. Francis

[Diclonius]

be polite be professional but have a plan to kill everyone
you meet.-tyr-andromeda

[Karbunos]

"Whenever you have excess leisure time, there will always be something or someone else ready to take it from you."
-Karbunos

[Darthelm]

"You and your girl are getting in the mood and then you whisper into her ear, "I'm gonna show you were babies come from" then you wrap her up in the sheet and toss that bitch out the window" -Darthelm

[Haar]

"yes a dick girl is sexy if she is hot" - Darthelm in the chatbox yesterday

[QUADChromatic]

"What smells like bigfoot's dick"- Background Actress in Anchorman.

[ijp92]

"Oh God! How can shaving cream be so flammable!"
-- John Egbert

[Arock]

"All Skrillex does is take songs and **** them up, like Glee" - Darthelm

[QUADChromatic]

My Brother and Sister sitting at the computer on reddit.
"QUADChromatic would like that."-Sister.
"what is it porn?"-My Mom form another room.
"Yes mom its porn."-Brother
"Oh Ok."-Mom

WTF Mom!!!

[ijp92]

“Your boredom is surpassed only by your all consuming rage and contempt for existence itself.”
— as Jack Noir

[W_a_S_y_L]

"A new PC is for your old games ,so they will finnaly work"

[ijp92]

(over IM)

EB: are you ok? hasn't your house been on fire for like...
EB: five hours now?

TT: No, that was the nearby forest, which up until quite recently would have been best described as "on fire".
TT: But you may be excited to learn that just as recently, my house finally notched that achievement.

EB: wow, congrats i guess?

-- Homestick

[Kaiju]

"Ah the sounds of Domestic Abuse, it really IS Mel Gibson's House!"

"WHY IS THE ANSWER ALWAYS BLOWJOBS?!"

"AH THE WASHING MACHINES ARE HAVING SEX!"

-Marik plays Bloodlines - Part 6 - PARANORMAL CRACKTIVITY

[ijp92]

Percy Garris: I'm not crazy; I'm just colorful.

[Kaiju]

"Geez, I can't believe my first day as a Vampire I sucked off a Hobo."
- Marik Plays Bloodlines - Part 2- GARBAGE DAY

[ijp92]

“Did I hurt your feelings again? Sorry. When this is all over I'll send some flowers to your inner child.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim


*edit* here's another one!*

Stark: You want to rule this world, a not particularly great place, so you can take over an even worse place? Is that basically is it? That why you ruined me, killed Alice, and ****ed over everyone who ever trusted you?
Mason: Firstly, **** all those people who trusted me. Except for Parker, every one of them was greedy and then turned jellyfish the moment you stuck your nose out of the grave. I gave all of them their heart's desire and they folded the moment things got a little weird.
Stark: You didn't exactly give Kasabian his heart's desire.
Mason: Yeah, I did sort of screw him, didn't I? But admit it. There's the opposite of love at first sight. There are people walking the earth that the moment you meet them, you want to punch them and keep punching them.

[Kaiju]

Marik: The Only way you could help me right if you knew some way to defeat Mel Gibson
The Slenderman: Have you tried giving him a blowjob?
Marik: NO!
The Slenderman: You should try giving him a blowjob.

-Marik plays Bloodlines - Part 6 - PARANORMAL CRACKTIVITY

[ijp92]

“It’s, like, one of them drug dealer boats,” Vic says, looking through his magic sight. “Five guys on it. Headed our way.” He fires another round. “Correction. Four guys on it.” Boom. “Correction, they’re not headed our way anymore.” Boom. A fireball erupts from the ocean two hundred feet away. “Correction. No boat.”
― Neal Stephenson, Snow Crash

[hosokawa37]

"I'm guessing your testosterone level is just below Beiber" - House M.D.

[ijp92]

"AND THAT... CONCLUDES TODAY'S LESSON IN *4W35UM*!"
-- Great Teacher Largo

[LawRayLiet]

We never get back our youth. The pulse of joy that beats in us at twenty becomes sluggish. Our limbs fail, our senses rot. We degenerate into hideous puppets, haunted by the memory of the passions of which we were too much afraid, and the exquisite temptations that we had not the courage to yield to.

[jinzo64]

Ever More - The Raven

[LawRayLiet]

When a woman marries again, it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.

[tengutenga]

Common sense is an illusion.

[Distict5-9]

And a few quotes from the pits of madness known as the generic hentai dialogues...

NSFW! (Well, barely...)

http://i.imgur.com/ONpuS.png

-I'm floating on ****s!
-It's pulling me in!
-T-this could be the biggest turd in Japan, no, the world!
-Humans can make cows pregnant?!
-Don't watch me cum while I spray pee out of my ass!
-A dick with phimosis is the best!
-Terrorist actions against my ass are not acceptable!
-Ah ah ah! I'm the the lonely rapist!
-Your excrement will become my sustenance...
-Now that I actually came in my little brother's face, all my fears seem to have vanished!
-The truth is, boys are horrified when the girl they like grows a ****.
-I'M BEING ****ED BY MY OWN ****!
-So you cross-dress and ejaculate prematurely. That's just sad...
-I wish I could have sex with mom like you did, sis...
-But, it's a sin to have tits this huge for a girl your age!
-I'm going to take your virginity mom!


Ta-dah!

[jinzo64]

Pikachu pika pika-chu

[Luppi-tan]

Good... Bad... I'm the guy with the gun... (Ash Williams)