[1337uvis]

Finally i had a thought for my 1st topic!
Basically in this game you say something good/bad that happens to the character. The only rule is to follow a good happening with a bad and vice versa (and no spam/off topic :D)
eg.
Post #1 A man fell out of an airplane
Post #2 but he had a parachute
Post #3 but it didn't deploy
Post #4 but he was landing on a haystack
Post #5 There was a pick in the haystack
Post #6 He missed the pick
Post #7 but he also missed the haystack

and so on and so on, returning for a new beginning every now & then, let's give it a go


A man was left tied up on train rails.

[Pink_Nipple]

but he had a knife

[Marco_1989]

But the knife was blunt and was not able to cut in any way

*nice game Lietuvis ;D*

[Useful]

But there were sharp rocks on the ground.

*seconded, it's a goood game!*

[Marco_1989]

But his arms were not long enough to reach the rocks

[Pink_Nipple]

But his toungue was long enough to scream "HELP!!!"

[Marco_1989]

^ I thought you was going to say: "But his toungue was long enough to reach the rocks" :P Although its spelled tongue, but who cares ^^ Continue this:

But the loud noise made by the upcoming train was louder than his scream for help

[Pink_Nipple]

But the train driver saw him and pushed the handbreaker.

[Marco_1989]

But it seemed the train drove to fast and couldn't stop on time

[Useful]

But he had wiggled enough that he could get out of the ropes.

[Marco_1989]

But when he tried to run away, he tripped, while the train came closer ....

*every story needs a happy ending? :P*

[Useful]

(No, I think that the one that Vilius came up with couldn't end well. But it looks like he survives this round.)

But he rolls out of the way just in time.

[Pink_Nipple]

But he rolled out straight in a dog crap

[1337uvis]

*I was thinking it was about time for a new game ;) can i get a seal of approval somewhere? :D*
Also, there comes a time when it just isn't as epic anymore ( eg. rolling into dog crap) and you need something new.
A man went to a hospital for a physical and was about to be approved at perfect health

[Enkim]

But he hasn't got money

[1337uvis]

But he remebers he knows a doctor that works there

[Marco_1989]

*I was thinking it was about time for a new game ;) can i get a seal of approval somewhere? :D*

Here you go:
http://i279.photobucket.com/albums/kk134/Marco-Kun/SealofApprovalV2.png
:P

Unfortunately, while remembering that, he trips ..

[1337uvis]

but manages to catch on a cable of some sorts

[1337uvis]

Okay just for the record i hate double- posting but this needs it now.
But the cable wasn't insolated and he got shocked

[Pink_Nipple]

But when he was being shocked, an idea came to his head.

[Useful]

But it didn't matter because he got knocked unconscious by the shock.

[1337uvis]

He woke up later on in a white room

[Pink_Nipple]

But he wasnt happy cause it was a CUBE.
BTW Villius recieve this
http://imgcash1.imageshack.us/img227/2069/83214870lk7.jpg

[Enkim]

He saw a pink rabbit

[1337uvis]

I'm sorry but i'm going to have to ignore Enkim since his post fits in nowhere.
But he noticed the cube had a white door

[Useful]

But it was locked from the outside.

[1337uvis]

But he heard steps coming

[Pink_Nipple]

But he had a stepophobia (afraid of steps :))

(You can skip this post and the post below if you want to)

[Enkim]

He has taken machete for hand and...

~~sorry, small misunderstanding, ;[

[1337uvis]

How can we ban Enkim?
But that very moment the steps ended and the door opened

[Pink_Nipple]

But the man standing in the next room said "Hello, my next victim"

[1337uvis]

"Victim of healing" he added

[abyssion1337]

Finally i had a thought for my 1st topic!
Basically in this game you say something good/bad that happens to the character. The only rule is to follow a good happening with a bad and vice versa (and no spam/off topic :D)
eg.
Post #1 A man fell out of an airplane
Post #2 but he had a parachute
Post #3 but it didn't deploy
Post #4 but he was landing on a haystack
Post #5 There was a pick in the haystack
Post #6 He missed the pick
Post #7 but he also missed the haystack

and so on and so on, returning for a new beginning every now & then, let's give it a go


A man was left tied up on train rails.

did you get this from a childrens book called fortunatly unfortunatly?

as he pulled out an atheme(ritual knife)

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

Which was a knife shaped glass full of water.

[abyssion1337]

but it had shards of glass in it

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

which he then picked out and threw in the recycle bin

[abyssion1337]

then a feral racoon walked it

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

which then started to sing and dance

[abyssion1337]

the the whole room fell into a pit

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

At the bottom of the pit was sponge

[abyssion1337]

an evil maneating sponge

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

Which had gone vegetarian

[abyssion1337]

then it exploded

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

into a giant marshmellow

[abyssion1337]

that attacked the city(ghostbusters flashback)

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

then little jimmy woke up

[abyssion1337]

with a bear in his tent

[Useful]

Who was also vegetarian.

[abyssion1337]

then the bear was shot and gutted in front of him by a hunter giving him severe mental scars

[Useful]

But a therapist helped him with that.

[abyssion1337]

before molesting him

[Useful]

But suing him helped ease his mind.

[abyssion1337]

until the therepist commited suicide

[Useful]

Which wasn't so bad because he WAS the guy who'd raped little Jimmy.

[abyssion1337]

but jimmy had forgiven him and fallen in love with him

[Useful]

He recovered through the use of a heterosexual therapist.

[S.ifr]

Who Jimmy also fell in love with.
( oh noes love triangle )

[Useful]

(Poor, screwed up Jimmy)

(The first therapist is already dead, remember?)

But Jimmy's alright that it doesn't work out.

[abyssion1337]

then Jimmy got rapped by a horse

[Useful]

But he passed out half way through...

(God, you really can't make that any better, can you?)

[abyssion1337]

he woke up in the hospital with his organs pulled out of his ass

[Useful]

But they put them back in all right.

(WTF?!?!?)

[S.ifr]

Some, in the wrong place.

[Useful]

But it didn't effect his digestive capacity or anything else.

[abyssion1337]

then he started smoking and was addicted to cigaretes for 47 years

[Useful]

But he avoided all of the normal respiratory cancers and such.

[1337uvis]

But a truck hit him while he was smoking near the road

[Pink_Nipple]

I lol'd reading last 2 pages. :D
___
But he was at the age 62 at that moment.

[S.ifr]

Being 62 made him more fragile, thus breaking every bone in his body.

[1337uvis]

He didn't die on the spot though

[S.ifr]

He died later in the hospital.

[DaMetzger]

He didn't feel pain though.

[1337uvis]

A man fell out of a ship

[DaMetzger]

Someone heard his scream for help

[S.ifr]

But did nothing about it.

[Marco_1989]

The man was lucky though, he fell right next to a small boat



*Check your inbox Liet :)*

[Pink_Nipple]

full of cannibal cavemen

[Marco_1989]

Thank God, they already ate 10 minutes ago, and are not hungry the next couple of hours

[Pink_Nipple]

But they were on a hunt. They needed a meat for supper.

[Marco_1989]

At that moment, a shark came closer, and rammed the boat of the cannibal cavemen, causing them to all fall in the water..

[abyssion1337]

but the river they were all in was the lethe

[1337uvis]

noticing that he's already in a river the man reached the shore

[Ionzorg]

but there was an active volcano about a thousand metres away

[1337uvis]

^so...maybe a kilometre? :D
luckily it wasnt due to burst for a few days

[Ionzorg]

^ Yeah. Why I chose to say a thousand metres, I don't know. :P (Go metric system, go!)

although this angered the natives greatly, and they quickly blamed the first outsider they saw

[1337uvis]

luckily the natives had polio so they couldn't chase him very effectively

[S.ifr]

but ended up with polio himself.

[1337uvis]

Luckily a passing helicopter ntoiced him and took him in

[S.ifr]

it crashed into the village of the angry natives

[Pink_Nipple]

But they had a celebration that day

[abyssion1337]

in which they planned to eat the survivors

[1337uvis]

but a massive digestive tract infection hindered the celebration

[abyssion1337]

the survivors caught it too

[Pink_Nipple]

But they had some medicine that helped them

[Useful]

But it also cured the natives...

[1337uvis]

But being cured by them the natives decided not to eat them ( i really hope someone goes next with a bad one that begins with "rather..." :D)

[DaMetzger]

Rather than eating them, the natives decided to make a bloody sacrifice of them for interrupting the celebration in the name of the gods

[1337uvis]

Luckily the shaman said the gods would only accept a sacrifice 5 days from today.

[Useful]

So they decide to tie them up in poisonous vines.

[1337uvis]

Luckily they were clothed so the vines didn't poison them

[abyssion1337]

but the vines had deadly spikes

[DaMetzger]

luckily they were easy to break off

[Issitheus]

but they grew into more vines

[abyssion1337]

that grew pretty flowers

[Issitheus]

that sprayed acid if it was threatened

[1337uvis]

but they managed not to threaten them

[abyssion1337]

then the area was covered in nerve gass from a government test

[1337uvis]

luckily they were the first ones to free themselgves fro mthe effect of the gas

[S.ifr]

But while freeing themselves the flowers felt threatened and spewed out their deadly gas.

[Pink_Nipple]

Deadly for hamsters only

[1337uvis]

but still causes paralysis in humans

[S.ifr]

One of them wasn't affected by the gas, though.

[Pink_Nipple]

(It was only one man at the beginning :))

But the one who was affected was very important to him.

[S.ifr]

(It was only one man at the beginning :))

WAS.


He got over it quickly.

[Pink_Nipple]

:D
http://www.tired.com/



But he was too tired to run

[S.ifr]

so he hid in a nearby bush.

[Pink_Nipple]

So did the most poisonous snake in that area

[S.ifr]

Luckily, it died.

[1337uvis]

although only after biting him.

[S.ifr]

he had a vaccine for such cases.

[1337uvis]

but it was past it's best before date and therefore had little effect

[S.ifr]

just enough for the minimum poison that entered his system.

[Pink_Nipple]

But he became weaker after using the vaccine

[beriorgar]

then someone came along with some good vaccine

[1337uvis]

but they got eaten by the natives

[beriorgar]

only after he got the vaccine

[DaMetzger]

but it caused an allergic reaction

[beriorgar]

wich wasen't too bad

[1337uvis]

but it made his thorat swell making him asphyxiate

[abyssion1337]

then someone came along and poked a hole through his throat so he could breathe

[DaMetzger]

the whole caused an infection

[Issitheus]

but it didn't matter because he was already dead.

(

but it made his thorat swell making him asphyxiate
)

[abyssion1337]

but he was a zombie

[DaMetzger]

I want a new story! This has been draggin' for too long.

A guy was being chased by the mob on the highway...

[abyssion1337]

when he exploded taking out the mob with him, he then went to heaven and got 72 vergins

[Issitheus]

which were strange things that only wanted to bite his ears off.

(NOTE: abys said "vergins", not "virgins")

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

the ears of his teddy bears that is

[abyssion1337]

earless teddy bears crave human flesh

[S.ifr]

they weren't able to move though

[abyssion1337]

until a wizard came along and used magic on them

[Ionzorg]

but the wizard was incompetent, and instead of being ferocious, all the teddy bears could do was smile and give fluffy teddy-bear hugs

[abyssion1337]

hugs so tight people's heads popped off

[S.ifr]

so they never hugged the bears

[Ionzorg]

but the bears forced hugs upon them (bears love hugs, especially fatal ones)

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

soft cushy hugs...and kisses

[abyssion1337]

of death

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

a hug of death that killed all the sickness in their bodies

[abyssion1337]

before it killed their organs

[Ionzorg]

but their organs were resilient, and healed quickly

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

But the scars turned into snakes that devoured their bodies

[Ionzorg]

although they struck a deal with God so they could return to Earth

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

an earth that had been ravaged by the getaway snakes!

[Ionzorg]

(That must have been part of the deal... :P) Fortunately, although poisonous, the snakes feared humans and did not dare harm them

[abyssion1337]

until they joined to form the uber snake

[S.ifr]

they were able to achive this by giving up their eyesight.

[Ionzorg]

but they could still smell and hear their prey

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

Until Zues killed them.

[S.ifr]

Zeus wasn't please with the mortals, either.

[abyssion1337]

but vishnu was and they had an epic battle

[Pink_Nipple]

This (awesome) thread was dead for sometime so i think new story would be nice.

A girl was raped by alien

[beriorgar]

but she didn't like it

[Filleffs]

in the ass, so they switched position to a more comfortable one

[Pink_Nipple]

but she got bored fast

[Filleffs]

so a clown came into the room to entertain them

[beriorgar]

turned out to be a killer clown

[Pink_Nipple]

which started to sing and dance (stolen but lol)

[Filleffs]

while shooting randomly with his AK-47

[Pink_Nipple]

which was drawn on a piece of paper

[Filleffs]

which was an envelope full of anthrax

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

which when studied was actually icing sugar

[abyssion1337]

but he was alergic

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

to salt so the icing sugar didnt bother him

[abyssion1337]

until a collosus ate him

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

until a collosus ate him


self a big donut!

[abyssion1337]

then the universe exploded

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

with emotion at the site of the collosus

[abyssion1337]

all the orphans died

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

all the orphans died


your suppose to do a bad thing......OHHHHHH! BURN ON ORPHANS!(rofl)

but were arisen

[abyssion1337]

as zombie demon children

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

that helped everyone for the greater good. and thus the children did for all eternity. NEVER EVER doing aything bad ever again.

[abyssion1337]

until their demon side came our and in the middle of the night tey came out and attacked everyone

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

(that mess of a sentence reminded me of chii. lol.)

with plushy toys

[abyssion1337]

with explosives and razor blades inside

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

his trunk our hero james bond races to stop the terrorists

[abyssion1337]

but dies when he gets there

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

luckily it was an imposter

[abyssion1337]

but he had taken all the weapons and equipment from the original after breaking his arms and legs.

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

which made james bond unarmed and safe ??? ??? ???

[abyssion1337]

which wasn't a good thing

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

until he reached the border where they let him through without trouble

[abyssion1337]

but they had to give him a cavity search

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

which he enjoyed alot

[abyssion1337]

until the condom full of crack in his stomach bursted

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

but then he enjoyed happy hour

[abyssion1337]

right before an excruciating death

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

which sent him to heavens pearly gates

[abyssion1337]

but they were full so he was forced into hell

[Issitheus]

but the devil didn't want to ass-rape him

[abyssion1337]

but his son did

[Issitheus]

I thought you did good. now where were we?

[abyssion1337]

uh change yours to good then I'll edit my post to a bad

[Issitheus]

damn ok

but i was kidding. don't change yours.

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

Im on bad:

The boys food had maggots in it

[abyssion1337]

Im on bad:

The boys food had maggots in it

you're on good actually

I posted:


but his son did

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

Oh I thought you guys werent continuing from there.
srry. This is one of those moments where you made me feel like an idiot. Ill miss that.

but he ran back up the stairs to earth

[abyssion1337]

but there were seeq guarding the exit

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

who ended up being very friendly and let him pass

[abyssion1337]

as long as he had sex with them

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

which isnt that bad after all

[abyssion1337]

except he had to gouge his eyes out afterwards

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

and get even better ones

[abyssion1337]

that took over his mind

[Pink_Nipple]

and made him a very good man

[S.ifr]

... TOO good of a man he took the blame for someone else

[Pink_Nipple]

But everyone was happy

[S.ifr]

He was now dead on the inside.

[abyssion1337]

but he was happier that way

[S.ifr]

Because he had a thirst blood

[abyssion1337]

which he used only on criminals

[S.ifr]

and babies.

[abyssion1337]

that were dead

[S.ifr]

One day he wondered what live flesh would taste like

[abyssion1337]

but he did nothing about it

[S.ifr]

until he one day he realized he was feeding on the wrong person; a victim.

[Filleffs]

aka a big mac

[abyssion1337]

so he went on a rampage

[Filleffs]

in the game he was playing

[S.ifr]

but took it too seriously

[Filleffs]

so he stopped playing it and read a good book instead

[abyssion1337]

it was the Necromonicon

[S.ifr]

he ended up going on a second rampage

[abyssion1337]

he ended up going on a second rampage

you're on good

[S.ifr]

Damn I got confused,

good one.. good one..
it made him think twice about his actions

[abyssion1337]

before it took over his soul and possesed his body

[Filleffs]

so he started to sing and dance

[abyssion1337]

while tearing out peoples necks

[Filleffs]

in the game

[Pink_Nipple]

called life.

[Filleffs]

This PC game was extremely realistic

[DaMetzger]

So realistic he started confusing it with real life

[Filleffs]

the game was called pinball xtreme

[abyssion1337]

and he couldn't has cheezburger

[Filleffs]

so he bought a big mac which he enjoyed more than cheezburger

[1337uvis]

unfortunately it gave him explosive diarrhea

[Issitheus]

but his bowels needed to be cleared anyways

[Luppi-tan]

And to do that, he rode a hot dog up and down.

[1337uvis]

thnakfully that was just a nightmare (caused by explosive diarrhea).

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

then the nightmare killed his brain and he needed to be sent to a ward.

[1337uvis]

luckily they had a brain for transplantation

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

But the surgery caused a massive infection.

[1337uvis]

which they cured with antibiotics

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

but then the doctors killed him anyway

[1337uvis]

Looks like a time for a new one then o_0

A guy was flying on a plane to the bahamas for a nice vacation

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

but then the destination where he was going got bombed

[1337uvis]

but the travel agency offered him a free trip to Hawaii instead.

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

Which also got horribly bombed

[Pink_Nipple]

by apple pies

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

which were posionous so when the people ate them they died

[Pink_Nipple]

but they (pies) were old and uneatable.

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

But they still made the runway wet so when the guys plane landed it slipped on the pies and blew up.

[Pink_Nipple]

but he survived (?somehow?)

[1337uvis]

but he lost his intestine in the crash (somehow again)

[Pink_Nipple]

But he got a new one due to his medical insurance.

[1337uvis]

which went bankrupt the next day so he had to give up the new intestine in a very painful operation

[Pink_Nipple]

But he was a US Marine so he was immune to pain and even more scary things. ;D

[1337uvis]

sadly, they accidentally mixed anesthetics with nerve-end stimulators making the pain unwhitstandable by any living thing.


damn the best anecdote just came to my mind, gonna post it.
Bush, Sarkozy and Putin all made a bet that their soldiers were the toughest.
In the USA the three come up to an american soldier and Bush hits him and asks:
-Did that hurt?
-No, sir, Mr. President, sir!
The other two look and say
- Not bad...
In france Sarkozy walk up to a soldier, asks for his gun, and then hits him with the gun and asks:
-Did that hurt?
-Not at all Mesiour President!
The other two look and say
-Impressive
In Russia Putin walks up to a soldier, asks for his gun, aims at the soldiers foot and shoots his toe. The soldier doesn't even twitch.
Putin asks:
-You felt anything?
-No Mr. Putin, nothing!
Bush and Sarkozy are forced to agree that Russian soldiers are toughest.
Then Putin walks a bit aside with the soldier and tells him:
-Thanks to you, i won this bet. You can ask for anything - a car, a home, money - anything.
-Well, Mr Putin, I'd just like ten size smaller boots....

[Pink_Nipple]

but he was a masochist.


*rofl*

[1337uvis]

even though the pain made his lungs shut down


I have to know jokes if i am to keep earning money :D

[abyssion1337]

but he didn't care cause he loved the feeling and had a death wish

[1337uvis]

his wish didn't coem true though.

[abyssion1337]

but he knew he couldn't live forever so he didn't mind

[Pink_Nipple]

but he didn't want to die so early. He was only 7.

[1337uvis]

70 that is.

[Pink_Nipple]

70 protitutes came to entertain him.

[S.ifr]

They were clean. All 70 of them.

[1337uvis]

but then he woke up from the coma

[Pink_Nipple]

^ is this bad? :D

With new lungs and intestine transplanted.

[abyssion1337]

and then he was shot by a missile barrage

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

which missed

[Issitheus]

and hit a bomb

[abyssion1337]

in China

[Issitheus]

causing a massive backlash against the US

[abyssion1337]

The US promtly surrendered

[1337uvis]

but the EU knocked some sense into them and the US decided not to surrender

[abyssion1337]

(lol I used the us surrendering as a good thing)

China then invaded Europe

[1337uvis]

but got their asses kicked

[abyssion1337]

but they managed to spread communism to all of Europe

[1337uvis]

but communism got overthrown within a year

[abyssion1337]

FYI you've been on bad this whole time

then someone shot the president

[1337uvis]

FYI i was on good since your understanding of "good" is twisted.

and the vice president replaced him in office so nobody gave a big damn about it since everything was good again.

[abyssion1337]

I am talking about the American president, the VP taking over would SUCK

[1337uvis]

I also was talking about the US president since Lithuania does not have a vice president, in our case the prime minister would take the office (ofcourse after appointing a new prime minister)

but the vice president was Obama

[Pink_Nipple]

I'm confuzed. How about a new story?


Little boy started to smoke.

[1337uvis]

^ Assuming that was bad (it at least is from my point of view since i don't smoke)

but the poilice saw him and stopepd him

[Pink_Nipple]

(you're right. smoking is a bad thing. :D)

and took him to the departmend where he was raped by cops.

[1337uvis]

but he was so trauamtised he couldnt remember (hard to make anything really "good" out of that situatiion, huh?)

[Filleffs]

until he watched the tv show "Cops", then he remembered it all, in great detail

[1337uvis]

but the shock rendered him unconscious resulting in amnesia so he wouldn't ever remember that again

[Pink_Nipple]

but amnesia destroyed about 30% of his brain cells.

[1337uvis]

but they weren't vitally important so he could still perform at an average level